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November 15, 2019

The success secret that society wants to hide from us


Today we’re constantly being told to ‘keep it down a notch’ or ‘tone it down’.


The traditional image of a bold, self-confident and conquering personality has been forced on the retreat.


Nowadays, we’re supposed to be humble, excusing and submissive.


This sensation is especially prevalent amongst so-called intellectuals and those with higher education.


A belief in ourselves has given way to the notion that we are ‘not supposed to think that we’re better than our peers’.


This view of the world has further led people to resist the idea of working on themselves.


Personal and physical growth is being dissuaded and condemned.


The tall poppy syndrome, the sentiment that we’re not to think we’re better than everyone else has justified a static, non-growing lifestyle.


The belief is that it’s morally and ethically wrong to work on yourself, to achieve a victory here and there and to experience growth.


Lately, with the advent of social media, this trend of submissiveness and accordance is getting even more pronounced.


Speaking one’s mind and making one’s case is frowned upon in modern society.


From the outside, it would appear as if everything’s just normal.


It also seems that people’s lives have become so much better.


However, this is anything but the case.


In reality, people’s lives are more turbulent, more emotional, and more stressful than ever.


The constant barrage of news updates, memes, videos and pictures of other people’s lives has fundamentally altered our society.


For the worse.


Amusingly though, the world is better off than ever.


There are fewer wars, fewer people die because of poverty, while science has made so many things possible.


Sure, there are challenges like the climate threat, but overall planet earth is overall doing much better.


This means we should have every reason to celebrate.


We’re doing really good. Seriously.


Yet, media wants you to think otherwise.

Both the traditional news media and the social media.


If we make a list of all the negative and compare it to the positive in the news narrative, the list will be overwhelmingly stuffed with negative stuff.


Even if by just absorbing parts of the news, this list isn’t difficult to make.


You’ll get a stream of negativity and an illusion that the world is on the brink of collapse.


According to most news media, there is no way the Earth can be saved.


We’re all doomed and headed for downfall.


In respect to social media, especially Snapchat and Instagram, it’s more of a competition between peers in displaying the perfect, ideal life.


There are no bad days.


No tears.


No challenges.


No things that don’t go as planned.


Everything is perfect, and there is always a reason to smile.


Of course, that’s not how things really are.

Behind the façade, things are just like the we all experience in our daily lives.


In fact, the more glamorous, the more glossed over the images and the life being displayed, the worse they’re really doing.


Online however, our neighbors, friends, and peers all live the perfect life void of any stress, challenges or bad days.


And they constantly remind us about this by updating their social media.


It’s gotten to a point where it’s very difficult to avoid it.


We have to almost be recluses and get off all social media in order to not experience any of the negativity that’s going on.


There is nothing that stops us from vanishing from the face of the Internet.


We could easily delete all of our social media accounts and quit watching the news.


Never read a newspaper, never go online and get exposed to the news.


Live in a bubble, void of any outside disturbance.


That isn’t necessarily a bad thing.


However, it’s going to be tremendously difficult to do that in practice.


Sooner or later we’ll have to deal with media one way or the other.


Quite likely both the traditional news and the social media.




We need to work on these two traits



We’re going to stick to the notion to keep a social media presence, and to follow the news media.


What can we do to combat the fear of inferiority?


There are two things we need to have.


Trait number one: Acquire self-confidence.

Get confident today!

Yes, it’s that simple.


No, it’s not that easy to do long-term.


But it’s the solution that actually works.


Here’s a practical example of what I often do:


I wake up in the morning, go to the bathroom, look into the mirror and say; ‘I’m the man!’


I say it out loud.


And I mean every word of it.


Self-confidence, both the rational and the irrational part will sooner or later establish itself as a default part of your thought pattern.


Since I ooze with self-confidence, there’s just no way that I’ll have a bad day.


Because I’m on a mission and I’m going to succeed in the end.


Doing so will changes my life.


It changes everyone’s life.


There’s no way I’ll have a bad day ever again.


‘I’m the man! I’m a blessing from the Heavens!’


By believing and meaning that, there’s no way my life can go wrong.


My time and presence actually have a value.


People should feel privileged to be in my presence.


Certain things are going to happen though, that might initially feel a little uncomfortable.


I have repelled some people.


That’s just how it is. It has happened to me on many occasions.


Some people perceive me as rude, inconsiderate, disrespectful and arrogant.


I can’t do anything about that.


It’s their prerogative to do so. It’s also their loss.


Notice how a lot of times these are people who haven’t gotten anywhere in life and won’t get anywhere in life either.


They’re stuck in their humbleness and insecurity.


In their minds it’s better to be liked, than being respected.


They erroneously think that in order to get respected by people they have to be liked.


However, that’s a fatal way of going about life.


Being so dependent on being liked is what make, them prone to being run over by other people.


Why is that?


They don’t have a spine.


They lack the ability to tell people no.


And to say or mean things that might not be popular.


They fear the repercussions. They fear being met with resistance.


All of this is rooted in their own insecurity, helplessness, and the incessant need to seek validation from others.


They’re like little puppies running around, barking for attention.


A human has to give them a treat, because they’ve been a good dog.


Also notice how a lot of these people also put on a fake smile while pretending that they’re everyone’s friend.


They’re doing it out of pure ego.


This probably sounds a bit counterintuitive, but ego is another trait everyone actually needs to develop.


There’s nothing bad about having an ego.


The problem is that these self-apologists lie about how they perceive ego.


They claim they regard it as a bad thing.


The problem is, they’re lying about it.


Even to themselves.


In their deluded world, it pays off to go around with a smile on their face all the time.


Even to those who don’t show them any respect at all.


It’s a surefire way to attract the wrong kind of people.


Thenceforth, we are better off avoiding contact with people like this.


Now, this does not at all mean that we never should smile to other people.


Of course not.


Smile whilst saying ‘Thank you’ and ‘Please’.


Strive to make people’s lives better.


This is the second trait we need to acquire;


Trait number two: show respect to everyone.


Absolutely everyone.


Of course, that doesn’t mean that I stand there and allow myself to be disrespected.


Whenever I meet someone and they’re rude and discourteous, I simply walk away from them.


There is nothing good that comes out of being together with people like that.


I do my best to avoid them at all costs.


Especially by virtue of them being unpleasant to me before they’ve even gotten to know me.

That is a red flag.


This is also where people as a whole gets things entirely wrong.


They believe that in order to be self-confident, we have to be rude.


That’s absolutely not true.

Whenever we show respect to someone whom we encounter for the first time, we have nothing to lose and everything to gain.


Especially if we’re interacting with people who on paper should be socially inferior to us.


If I am financially well off while they barely get by each month, then we shouldn’t be part of each other’s lives according to society’s norms.


A lot of so-called successful people simply avoid not getting to know lower ranked people.


That is a capital mistake.


Because networking downwards may be the most rewarding thing you can do in your entire life.

It always pays off to have friends in high places and in low places.


However, let’s get back to the process of actually interacting with people.


Smiling, asking people how they’re doing and make the conversation about them is so rewarding in itself.


It really is what will make or break any potential friendship down the line.


The more we are doing this, the more we are talking to other people and make them feel comfortable, the better.


We are practicing. We are getting better at conversing.


My self-confidence coupled with honesty, sincerity and respect for others, is what makes me so attractive to others.

This is where so many people today really have messed things up.


There exists a notion that if you’re self-confident you’re also deluded, arrogant and unpleasant to be around.


Nothing could be farther away from the truth.


Most self-confident and successful people are very humble.


This is not a coincidence.


They are well versed with their social skills.

They know whence they came and what it took to get to where they are today.


Also, they understand that in order to attract the right kind of people they need to be polite.


For some reason, modern society wants to reject the notion that successful people also can be kind.


Modern thought patterns are either black or white.


We’re one of these two;


Arrogant and self-confident.


Or, humble, respectful, and nice to other people.


For some reason there is no way in which we can be both.


Self- confidence isn’t supposed to be coupled with respectfulness.


If it is, self-confidence is being mixed with arrogance.


There seems to be no way the world wants you to succeed in life.


You cannot have lots of money, a successful career, and a happy family, lots of friends and be nice to people.


It doesn’t fit with what society wants you to believe.


Now of course, some people who are self-confident are also poor, unsuccessful and they fail at almost everything.


That’s because they’ve coupled their self-confidence with delusion, arrogance and disrespect for others.


The quickest ways to lose people whom we care about in life, is by demonstrating a lack of respect.

If we behave inappropriately and are unpleasant to be around, that’s a quick way to make people dislike us.


Nobody likes to be around someone who’s arrogant and rude.


This is where social media and, also, the news media have got things confused.


You don’t need to be arrogant just because you believe in yourself.

Intelligent people will understand that that’s the best way to rid oneself of others.


It’s just fits the narrative so well – ‘We shouldn’t think we’re better than others!’, ‘We cannot brag about our accomplishments!’.


If I want to get somewhere in life, I have to believe in myself.


I need to be strong.


I get that this might be the biggest cliché that’s out there, but a cliché is a cliché for a reason – it’s true.


Without a firm and strong belief in our own abilities, almost everything that we’re doing will be futile and done for nothing.


There’s nobody on this planet that truly wish to be an inferior version of themselves.


People who much rather want to sit at home feeling sorry for themselves while claiming that they are depressed, are really just afraid to do the work.


Or, they don’t want to do the work. They find solace and comfort in their complaints.


It feels so good in the moment to complain and blame everyone but themselves.


Long term however, this line of thinking is like poison. Nothing good comes out of it.


The thought of rolling up the sleeves, getting to work and getting their hands dirty scares them.


In most cases it’s just a lack of self-confidence that’s keeping them from reaching their true goals.


Some of them might have been subjected to unpleasant incidents previously in their lives.


Maybe they got bullied at school and had no friends? Maybe they got sexually abused by a close relative?


Maybe they went through a bad break up, lost their job and got into serious debt?


Of course, things like that will impact one’s self confidence. Let’s not pretend like it does.

Setbacks that occur in life will have a direct impact on everyone’s feelings.


I’ll be the first one to admit that.


Following a breakup which involved a house that needed to be sold and various other issues, I found myself in serious debt with a fairly low income for years.


My unmatched self-confidence and the lust to live was what took me forward.


Eventually I managed to sell the house and handle my debt.


It took courage, perspicacity and willpower.


And time. But I never could have done it without my self-confidence.


And the will to actually make it through.


Part of that self-confidence came from overcoming another obstacle in early life: being bullied for 11 years.


The bullies had 11 years to break my will to live. They didn’t succeed.


What in the world did a little debt mean in the grand scheme of things?


That’s the line of thinking we have to adapt.


The notion that we can do anything.


Especially during times like these when society portrays self-confidence as being a bad thing.


If I’d been humble and not regarded myself as a special human being, I wouldn’t have gotten anywhere in life.


If we show respect for others and whilst going through a rough time, we have the recipe for unparalleled success.


Very few people manage to be likeable and at the same time struggle with their own problems.


Most pundits who are being interviewed in the media claim that self-confidence makes people unpopular.


Ironically, the very same pundits afraid of speaking their mind while being interviewed by the media because they fear the repercussions.

Being labelled as arrogant and self-centered by the media is what has most people, especially the pundits – startled.


However, we’re best off thinking about ourselves first.


That is why I apply my own oxygen mask before I’m helping my fellow passenger.


It is what will bring me forward in life.


Heavyweight boxer Ed Latimore has written a book called ‘Not Caring What Other People Think Is A Superpower’.


That is the exact mindset we need to have as we’re living life.


Thus, I confidently roam through this earth without apology or excuse.


I believe that I’m the best. I’m the man!


I just always am sure to show the utmost respect people.


Applying those two traits simultaneously is what’ll make our lives great.

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