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December 19, 2019

A Letter to my (unplanned) Future Child.

Dear One,

Even though I didn’t plan to have you, I want you to know how loved you are.

Dear One,

Some people said it was foolish to have you. And at times, the voices of doubt and fear were strong in me.

But something smaller, your own voice perhaps, spoke of a different path—one of love and hope. A future of a family, of togetherness, of a new kind of radical trust.

Dear One,

In the heat of the summertime, your momma and papa made love on an island in the Salish Sea. Only three months before they moved in together, and only three months before that they began their courtship.

But their lives had crossed before. Ten years ago they lived in the same town, had danced at the same parties, introduced themselves over noisy bass music, only to get lost in the crowd. They had done yoga in the same studios, had sung Kirtan in the same key.

Then their paths spiralled off, privately spinning their own webs until the spiral brought them together again, in another town, another island, and into each other’s arms.

Your momma and papa believe that they came together for a reason.

They are here and devoted to you.

Dear One,

Life isn’t over until it is over. You can remake yourself a hundred times in this life if you so desire. There are no rules, except to follow that spark within, to keep following it as it is leading you home.

Dear One,

I want you to know that my life has not been all grief. The sadness you may feel inside of me has been lovingly tended by myself and many others. Learning how to properly grieve has taught me how to truly celebrate life, and all the colours of its expression.

Dear One,

I want you to know that my mother, your grandmother, would have loved you very much. And that, even though you won’t get to meet her in this life, she is as present as your breath, your smile, and your beating heart.

My eggs were forged in her womb and one of them became the spark that is you.

She has bestowed so many gifts upon us both and prepared us for this beautiful journey of life we are embarking upon together. Her death taught me much and this gift has become a part of my own wisdom.

Dear One,

I want you to know that the world is not a scary place. That even though the challenges the earth faces right now are great, you are perfectly equipped to deal with these times.

You are lucky to be born a human being.

Many other species face mass extinction right now at our hands. The responsibility of a human birth is big, and I will try to teach you how to live on this planet in a good way. I will not lie to you—life on Earth is sometimes hard and full of struggle. But other times, it is filled with unaccountable beauty and grace.

I hope you find delight and joy in life as I have, and are able to dance with a youthful spirit through the challenges that life will surely present.

Dear One,

I wish that you remember a little of the dream-world from which you come.

Though you may forget the womb, may that place of magical, timeless nourishment find you in your deepening relationship to the world. This material plane is to be enjoyed fully, but always remember that there is a part of you, too, that is stardust, that comes from a place in the Universe far, far away—yet not so far away. It is in every cell, every breath. An intelligence that is your birthright to inherit.

I pray that you stay open to the magic, to the awe and wonder of the unseen. That you connect with ancestors, with spirit guides, with angels, fairies, druids, or plants. With aliens or planets, with minerals or specks of light.

Whatever you can see in your mind’s eye exists. You are far more powerful than many will tell you.

Dear One,

I bow at your feet. I know you come from the future and have so much to share with me. I promise to stay humble, and remember that I too am learning and growing. I will do my best to teach you what I can, to love and protect you, and to be silly with you as long as you’ll let me.

Dear One,

I cannot wait to meet you.

Please continue to grow healthy and strong in my womb.

~

*I am 100 percent pro-choice and believe that all women deserve to make whatever choice is best for their bodies and their life. My experience of an unplanned pregnancy ended up with the decision to continue the pregnancy—but it is not meant to be an example. Every woman’s journey is different, and I bow down in respect and awe to all women who have gone through a journey of pregnancy, abortion, miscarriage, stillbirth, or birth, or those women who decided not to have a child.

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Charlotte Priest  |  Contribution: 3,600

author: Charlotte Priest

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Editor: Kelsey Michal