I won’t get into when or how I learned I could talk to spirits or see future events, that’s a longer story to tell and one I’m currently writing a book about. Let’s start from the moment I realized that Jung didn’t have the answers I needed as I was trying to dissect a dream that would later prove to be real.
I’ve loved interpreting dreams since I was a teen. My mom kept a dream dictionary on her dresser and I’d sneak it to look up my own dream symbols and scenes. I was a quiet girl with an active imagination. I loved reading about the mystical and supernatural so naturally dreams became my gateway to those magical places. I still remember a vivid dream I had when I was only 6 years old: I watched my own body fall from the sky, through the canopy over my bed and onto the mattress below. I felt myself land as I watched, it was almost like I had been disconnected from my body but still given the ability to feel everything. It was me but it wasn’t me. I don’t know why I still remember that experience so vividly today, I suppose I was meant to remember exactly where I came from and when it all began.
I started tracking details from my dreams in a journal shortly after I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 2015. Not because I necessarily wanted to but because after my diagnosis, shit got real! Although I’ve had vivid dreams my entire life, nothing prepared me for the kind of dreams I’d have once I was faced with a life-altering diagnosis. I had hit rock bottom and I prayed for a way out of that place. I slept and cried for weeks and one day the sky opened up and the gods came down and said, “This is your fate, we can’t change it but we can help you understand how to use it as a bridge to a new life, one you may not want but you NEED.”
Like I said, I have an active imagination, that didn’t literally happen but I was awaken from a deep sleep by a voice that said,”Kendra, GET UP!”
When someone calls your name and instructs you to do something but no one else is really there, you start to question your sanity, which I did. I thought I was going crazy but I dismissed it, stuck my head in the sand and acted like I had more important things to worry about. As I struggled to understand this disease during the day, at night I was trying just as hard to understand why I was having so many dreams that didn’t make sense or feel like my own.
I was waking up to faces floating in the mirror, symbols scrolling on my arm, and writing on the wall. I was always stuck in this in between space of sleep and wakefulness. That space is called hypnogogia according to scientists (and the trusty internet). The hallucinations weren’t always real or explainable for the most part but when I’d finally manage to fall back to sleep, the work I was assigned to do and messages received were all very real.
When you see guinea pigs chasing you with forks and knives after you’ve eaten too much the night before, it’s easy to interpret; you “pigged” out and should probably watch what you eat before bedtime. When you dream about hugging a scared child in a car as you both fall to your death and learn of a fatal traffic accident the next morning where a child the same age did indeed die, it takes a different kind of analysis and trust.
Dream Dictionaries and symbol guides are of little use to people who have found that their dreams are being used as a channel to heal, guide and help others. This isn’t a gift I control, it’s a gift I have learned to simply allow. By allow, I mean that I trust that whatever my role in dream state will be confirmed and revealed later that day. My only job is to write down what I can remember and wait for more information. Such was the case on August 14th, 2019.
I woke up that morning around 5:00 a.m. still very tired but the dream seemed important so I wrote down what I could recall on my phone note pad and went back to sleep:
“8/14/19 – I saw a black man in his 60s walking around as part of a tour. I passed him once, said hello and kept walking then I saw him again but this time he was lying on the ground checking his own pulse and having a hard time breathing. I was going to step around him but something pushed me to ask if he was okay. He said yes but as I walked away he jumped up nervously and asked for my advice on what to do if he’s struggling to breathe. I told him to call the front desk immediately so they could call 911. As he’s dialing he falls out and flatlines then another man comes around the corner to help him. As the man holding him is screaming “nooo” I heard the operator on the phone say ‘give him chest compressions’. The man helping him performed CPR and seconds later he gasped for air and sat up. I was witnessing this and crying the entire time but when he woke up I ran over, grabbed his hand and kept massaging it to keep him alert. It felt extremely important to keep rubbing and holding his hand.”
When I finally did get up later that morning I received a message from my husband’s cousin. We only chat via social media sometimes so her message was unexpected. She knows I’m a medium so she wanted to share an odd experience that happened to her mother early that morning.
“My mom works at a hospital and a patient was near death and he pulled through. He told my mom it’s because of her. He never met her before but he said that God told him to follow my mom and the light over top of her. He told her that there was a bright light shining over her and she saved him. Have you ever heard of anything like this?”
I responded with a shocked face emoji as she continued (because how else could I respond?).
“I know isn’t that crazy? He told my mom that she held his hand but my mom wasn’t actually there and told him that she didn’t but that she heard about it from her co-workers and prayed for him. The doctors don’t know what happened to him or why but he’s fine now.”
I asked her to describe him and she said he was a black man, in his 60s and the pastor of a church. I was taken aback but told her about my dream that I had around the same time she said this man passed and was revived. Both of our stories were too eerie and similar not to be connected. I meditated and asked for guidance that day. I didn’t know why or how I was used but I knew deep in my soul that I was there, in that room pushing him from the spirit realm back to the material. I was that light hovering overhead, the one who he felt hold his hand although who he physically saw in this altered state was my husband’s aunt. (Healers subconsciously working together with other healers to guide and protect souls in the spirit realm isn’t all that uncommon). I had only experienced guiding souls into the afterlife in dreams, not the other way around, it all seemed so surreal. The only thing I could do after that experience was accept those “other duties as assigned” as part of my position.
I’ve been going with the flow ever since…
I’ve been placed at the scene of accidents, chosen to comfort those in palliative care during times of stress, sent to touch the sick who need healing, and asked to guide the souls that don’t want to leave their old lives behind across to the other side – those are fun, they truly hate you in dream state until they realize moving on was for their own good. And yes, every now and again, I’ll be asked to guide them back to where they came from because it’s not their time.
There’s not a lot of resources for intuitive mediums who astral travel specifically to engage in in this type of healing work or a teacher to guide me, for now it’s just me and these unseen spirits pushing me to do the work I was evidently sent here to do. If this all seems too unbelievable, I’m with you! Every time I have dream that requires me to do some sort of spirit-driven work, I always doubt it is what I think it is and yet it almost always is exactly what I think it is.
I don’t know what to expect in the future but for now I’m getting used to my night shift work. This is my life as a dream worker.