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March 13, 2020

How I found my best life as an “empty nester”.

By Lisa Bell

Negative beliefs can become ingrained in our brains, in every cell of our bodies, often deposited at an early age. Fear drives the negativity, and these destructive thought patterns can continue to fester throughout our lives. They play over and over again like a broken record as we try our hardest to overcome the doubts that get in the way of living our best lives. But it’s never too late to rewind the tape and create new, more positive internal recordings that can help guide our future.

At what I thought then was an ancient, well past-my-prime age of 36, I began a professional singing career in earnest. That year I left a public relations business that I co-founded, got a divorce from my husband of 13 years, and became a single mom to my then 4-year old son. In a seemingly disastrous year, I rose through the ashes to pursue my true passion and recorded my first professional album.

As I wrote the first song, I began what would be a lifelong path to discover my highest self, to make a difference in the world through music and messages that could be both inspirational and motivational. But there has certainly been a great deal of darkness to contend with along the way.

Many of us are continually battling the negative messages that are so often deposited in our psyche at an early age. We tell ourselves: “You’re not good enough.” “You can’t lead that life.” The negative internal voices and false beliefs that we have about moving forward and trying something new are the biggest roadblocks to our own personal success.

Facing a big birthday may bring on a time of reinvention, and for me it was 50. The kids were just about grown and out of the house, on their way to college and their own successful careers. I suddenly found myself feeling lost, old, irrelevant, and nearly ready to quit singing for good. The same old voices came in once again, but harnessing those emotions allowed me to create music that would inspire other “empty nesters” out there.

Letting go of limiting beliefs allows us to look forward to exciting new opportunities, especially as we enter the exciting new chapter of “me first.” It’s time for us to once again embrace the creativity and passion we may have been left behind or that hasn’t been fully realized.

Lyrics to my song called “Back Seat” say it all: “Though the journey may be different than I mapped out years ago, I know this new direction is where I need to go…I’m not willing to take a backseat while my dreams pass me by. Though the ties of obligation have kept me safe here for some time. I find all the inspiration that I haven’t seen for miles was giving me direction from the back seat all the while.”

Today I’m successfully living a double life, with a full-time marketing and sales position in the wine industry, and a satisfying career in music. My “day job” allows me to travel across the US as well as abroad, and with a very supportive boss, I’m able to combine business trips with performances.

The old tape recording has been revised from “you’re not good enough” to “this is enough.” In fac , it’s more than enough. We often look at our lives as a series of goals that we either accomplish or fail. But life isn’t black and white, it’s a colorful journey. No matter your age, the attitude of exploration and discovery can guide a lifetime of new adventure and opportunity.

Life isn’t over after the kids are gone, it’s really just beginning, and we are the only ones who can take the driver’s seat once again to steer our lives in that new direction.

LisaBellMusic.com

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