May 3, 2020

5 Ways to Break Out of your Victim Mentality, Now.


View this post on Instagram


A post shared by annie miteva (@_minimalista) on

Relephant read: Elephant’s Continually updated Coronavirus Diary. ~ Waylon


Your life is your creation. And it’s nobody else’s fault.

Your perception is your exclusive reality, a personal movie running through your mind. You manifest your dreams, but you also incarnate your nightmares.

For a long time, this concept was off my radar. When it came to living the victim dream, I was a highflier. My suffering was someone else’s fault.

Suffocating under a mass of pain, anger, and trauma, my soul was buried beneath the stories of my ego. I was miserable. And I had to take action.

If you are here, I honor you deeply for facing your pain. Looking inside takes guts, and it kick-starts deep, raw, life-changing healing. I honor you for wherever you are.

Right now, we are being triggered beyond all recognition. COVID-19 has reached every human on the planet, unearthing our personal illnesses by way of our problems and stories. Our demons dance in front of us, backing us into a corner.

Under lockdown, it is a struggle to suppress their wretchedness. Letting off steam, many seek relief by criticizing others. It can feel at times like the government is throwing us to the lions, or like our family has no clue who we are. Our neighbor, we may think, is an asshole.

Well, that feels better! Sticking to the “poor me” funk has its advantages.

But COVID-19 is forcing us to dig deeper than that old trick. In lockdown, with nowhere to run, our demons will not be appeased with a quick fix. What was cooking inside bubbles back to the surface sooner or later. And frankly, our surroundings are not the problem. They are mere triggers of our internal stories.

It is our stories that suck us in, each time etching themselves deeper into our being.

There is another way.

Rewrite your internal stories. It’s time to do some editing.

1. Take responsibility for your well-being.

My story looked like this: I was drowning in the depths of trauma and pain. I felt alone. I stayed alone. Forever single, yet running a mile at a hint of intimacy. I wanted it, but I could not have it. I just couldn’t.

I traveled the world, fleeing my inner torture, concealing my pain with a myriad of new experiences. I created thousands of empty memories and moments. Torture eventually caught up. I was dead inside. Healing was an uphill battle, but an instinctively right fight.

Rewriting my story is an ongoing gift. I unwrap and rewrite it, daily. It began with years of therapy. Somatic Experiencing saved my dysregulated, off-the-wall life. My story continues with a dedicated self-care practice, including the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) and meditation.

2. Choose your thoughts.

Simply put, fearful thoughts ran my life. Only, I was switched off to hearing them. Thoughts running amok, silently and destructively, I allowed an unhealthy inner voice to drive me to the edge. I was an unwitting victim of my world.

Thought alone can change your life.

Practice this:

>> Say: “Life is beautiful.”
>> Say: “Life is ugly.”
>> Feel the difference.

Start with meditation to become an observer of your thoughts. Use mantras to reprogram them. Your thoughts and words radiate energy. Clean up your thoughts, clean up your world.

3. Stop comparing your chapter 1 to someone else’s chapter 50.

Okay, this is tough, when you are accelerating down the road of self-destruction.

But the key to this is practicing self-acceptance. This is a process, and one I continue to support with EFT and meditation.

Right now, you are exactly where you are supposed to be. Practice whatever you need to feel that. Every step on your journey is necessary.

Tiny steps are enough. Your own perceived lack is someone else’s dream.

4. Be grateful.

When you are in pain, the quickest turnaround is practicing gratitude. But get ready, because your ego will put up one stinker of a fight.

Be grateful anyway.

Open your journal and note down everything you can drum up that you are grateful for. Do this every day. When you feel better, keep writing. When you least expect it, your victim story will creep back in. Gain strength in positivity by practicing gratitude, and you will continue writing your new story.

5. Be there for others.

Supporting others is a one-way track to healing yourself. When you support others with genuine intention, this will feel good.

If they suck you dry of energy, set healthy boundaries.

Say the prayer, “I stay true to myself whilst supporting others.”

You are not a solution provider; that’s their job. You can support them on their path.


All of us have signed up for this transformation. Earth’s vibration is heightening, and we are ascending to a new spiritual era. Let go of your inner victim and increase your vibration.

A new beginning is around the corner.

Read 1 Comment and Reply

Read 1 comment and reply

Top Contributors Latest

Lindsay Duffus  |  Contribution: 530

author: Lindsay Duffus

Image: @_minimalista/Instagram

Editor: Marisa Zocco