June 29, 2020

The Clitoris 101: It’s an Iceberg—Not a “Button.” {Partner}

This article is written in partnership with Je Joue—they’re dedicated to sexual pleasure and empowerment. We’re honored to work with them. ~ ed.


Female pleasure is erased, denied, and neglected in countless ways—and has been for way too long.

Few of us were taught the intricacies of female anatomy. Few of us were taught that women’s pleasure is sacred and fun and just as worthy as men’s.

Many of us have slept with that guy who forgets that he’s not the only one who would like to—and deserves to—orgasm. Some of us may have found ourselves in bed with a lover who seems a little lost while trying to make their way around our bodies.

One of the best ways to empower ourselves, our lovers, and our sex lives is to educate ourselves—and then build a life of intimacy based on our newfound, empowered knowledge.

One company working to empower women’s pleasure, intimacy, and sex lives is Je Joue.

Sexual Pleasure & Sex Ed

Je Joue is a luxurious, sex-positive, elegantly naughty sex toy company. Their extensive research and dedication to enhancing women’s pleasure has put them at the forefront of creating high-quality toys that are perfectly designed for women’s bodies, pleasure, and lives.

But, in order to understand why Je Joue’s toys are so damn toe-curlingly good, we have to have a firm grasp on female anatomy—and understand how and why many sex toys (and people) miss the mark when it comes to women’s pleasure.

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Our Outdated Understanding of Women’s Sexuality

Because of our male-centric view of sexuality and bodies, for years, the vagina was the star of the female genital show—because it’s the part that men most give a damn about. But then, as feminism rumbled and raged through the end of the 20th century and into the 21st century, women realized that something essential was missing from the conversation: the clitoris.

Even though it might actually be the most important physical aspect of female pleasure, the clitoris was largely ignored for centuries. Worse still, some men in history went so far as to criticize women who enjoyed clitoral stimulation or experienced clitoral orgasms. One such man was the famous and impactful (but deeply misogynistic) Sigmund Freud, who declared clitoral orgasms “infantile.” (It’s not too much of a stretch to imagine that Freud was less-than-stellar in bed.)

In the 1990s, Helen O’Connell studied the clitoris and how it plays a role in pleasure. This and other efforts brought the clitoris to the forefront of conversations around women’s sexual pleasure.

And yet, the fact is that, in the age of Google, robot voyages to Mars, and breakthrough after breakthrough in medical research, few of us actually know all that much about the clitoris.

The Clitoris

The clitoris is a female sexual organ that exists in humans, as well as in other mammals—and, as I recently found out, ostriches (who knew??).

When we talk about the clitoris, most of us think of that small, visible “button” that hangs out at the top of our labia. (This “button,” or glans, contains 8,000 nerve endings—that’s more than twice as many as the head of the penis!) And, while this definitely is the clitoris, it is far from all of it.


Ninety percent of the clitoris is internal—so that little button we see is only 10 percent of the organ. But less than 30 percent of women know this (and I shudder to think how few men are aware).

So, the clitoris is actually not small at all; it’s more like an iceberg than a button, and that little, visible part is just the tip of it. It drops down from there and surrounds much of the area near the opening of the urethra, and then continues down and sweeps around the vagina.

This is why more and more women these days are saying that the whole concept of “G-Spot” pleasure is a myth—because it’s simply the stimulation of the clitoris through the wall of the vagina. This would also mean that “vaginal” orgasms are a myth—and that all orgasms are, in fact, clitoral (take that, Freud!). However, there are different types of clitoral orgasms—which is how we experience different types of orgasms, as well as “blended” orgasms (more than one type of orgasm at once).

The clitoris also becomes erect when we are stimulated (yep, women get erections too). Clitorises range from 7 to 12 centimeters in length and swell by 50 to 300 percent when engorged. The closer we get to orgasm, the more the clitoris becomes engorged.

As if you needed any more convincing, over 75 percent of women require clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm—a fact that gets massively distorted by the porn industry’s depiction of female pleasure. Yes, we women require more than 30 seconds of thrusting to reach orgasm.

Because it took us years to get past the assumptions of misogynistic psychologists and doctors, and uncover a fuller anatomical understanding of the clitoris, we’re also still playing catch-up with clitoral pleasure. But one thing we know for sure is this: In order to have a fun, fulfilling, orgasm-filled sex life as a woman, you have to understand—and pay a whole lot of attention to—your clitoris. And, if you have lovers or a partner with a clitoris, you’d better start paying attention too.

Get 25% off using code EJ25>>

Clitoral Stimulation, Sensation, & Pleasure

Because of their dedication to pleasure for women, by women, and based on actual female anatomy, Je Joue designs their toys with the clitoris in mind.

Whether having sex alone or with a partner, vibrators are one of the best ways to stimulate the clitoris—but they’re not all created equal, and some of them get the job done much better than others.

One of Je Joue’s highlights is its Mimi Soft Clitoral Vibrator:

“Award-winning Mimi is a sensual, soft and beautifully powerful vibrator designed for beginners and aficionados alike. Mimi’s unique pebble shape stimulates the whole labia, accessing more internal nerve endings, while the tip provides pin-point precision. The result? Versatile, powerful pleasure and a totally unique kind of orgasm.”

Get the Mimi Soft Clitoral Vibrator
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The Mimi vibrator has been lovingly called the “subwoofer of vibrators”—and there is actually more truth behind this than just an amusing nickname.

The Je Joue motors are designed to vibrate at an incredibly low frequency. In case, like me, you’ve forgotten most of what you learned in high school Physics, lower frequency vibrations travel farther—so they’re able to reach deeper tissues in the body than higher frequency vibrations.

The science and technology driving Je Joue’s unique motor is what distinguishes them from other vibrators. Cheaper vibrators tend to have motors that produce higher-frequency, buzzy vibrations. These shallow vibrations feel more superficial, stay on the surface of the skin, do not stimulate as many nerve endings, and will often lead to the unwanted numbing sensation that people sometimes describe.

The best way to highlight this difference is to compare the buzz coming from an electric toothbrush to that coming from a subwoofer loudspeaker. An electric toothbrush operates at a frequency anywhere upwards of around 20,000 Hz (high frequency). A subwoofer bass loudspeaker operates typically at 100 to 200 Hz (low frequency). Je Joue toys operate at the very low frequency of between 45 to 180 Hz. When you stand next to a subwoofer loudspeaker, you really feel the bass “go through you”—this is the same technology being harnessed by Je Joue’s unique deep, rumbly motor.

Now that we have an understanding of just how large the clitoris is—and how much of it is hidden from view—it makes a lot of sense that just focusing on that “button” alone misses out on much of the clitoris’s potential for pleasure. This is why the Mimi’s subwoofer-style vibrations are so effective—and feel so effing good. Unlike most vibrators you’ll find, the Mimi isn’t just stimulating the “button”—it’s stimulating the whole damn iceberg.

4 More Creative Tips for Toe-Curling Pleasure.

Spoil your Special Someone (or Yourself)

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The Road to Orgasms is Paved with Education (& Vibrators)

Ignorance plays a huge role in our failure to help women reach their full sexual potential. And, while we can absolutely blame misogyny, patriarchy, and the taboo of sex for our lack of awareness, the fact still remains that we have a responsibility—as clitoris-owners or lovers of clitoris-owners—to educate ourselves on women’s bodies and pleasure.

The truth is, we all deserve good sex. We all deserve orgasms. We all deserve access to toe-curling, bed-shaking, clitoris-rumbling pleasure.

Let’s stop settling for anything less.

Get 25% off using code EJ25 >>


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