August 11, 2020

I Cry for a Man who Doesn’t Deserve my Tears. {Poem}

My heart aches.

My heart weeps.

You had always said we were for keeps.

I smile, but it doesn’t reach my eyes.

I say I’m fine, but I can’t believe you’re no longer mine.

Goodbye was not my plan.

I wanted to work through it, and I thought you’d say we can.

How, when, and why did your love wan?

Some days I dream that you come back and we work it out.

But I know that even if you did, it wouldn’t remove the doubt.

You’ve let me down too many times.

I couldn’t bear any more uphill climbs.

You left me alone when I needed you most.

How could I find a way to trust that man, that ghost

I want to run to you, wrap myself in your arms.

Yet, I know that would do me nothing but harm.

I want to sob and scream in an effort to relieve my pain.

But that would only be in vain.

You assured me you would hold my hand through the fear of opening my heart. That was at the start.

You promised me that we could work through anything together. That was before we met stormy weather.

You left me twice. That second time, I rolled the dice.

And you won. Thought I did, too. Yet here I sit, feeling blue.

I broke my heart, being with you, while you were only trying to figure out what you wanted to do.

You didn’t want to be alone. I had loved being on my own.

You didn’t like being without me. I had loved being free.

You didn’t know what your future held. No matter how I tried to stop them, my eyes welled.

You said that I was the only thing you were sure of in your life. Yet I was never going to be your wife.

How could I think a man who let me down after all these years would be the one by my side to wipe away my tears? 

How could I think a man who wasn’t always kind to others could ever truly love another? 

My heart has endured a lot, but this time it’s really broken. I don’t know how to repair it, so I think it’s time to spare it.

I cry for a man who doesn’t deserve the tears. Though I know I didn’t waste my years.

The hard lessons learned are bittersweet. But someday, I will be back on my feet.

The feelings shared with him needed to be spoken.

And now, my heart is truly broken.

~

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