Nobody said parenting would be easy. But no one said how much they would eat! My wife and I have 4 kids. 3 boys and a Girl. 12boy,10boy,7boy and 2girl. They are not children they are remorseless eating machines! We spend easily $35-$45 on fruit and vegetables and they eat every scrap of it. I often find a childs legs sticking out of the Vegetable crisper as one of them is deep diving for carrots or cucumber.

7boy used a phrase when he was hungry that was all the words rolled in to one. “SumfingAeet.” This was said at varying speeds and intervals until he was given “SumfingAeet!”

10boy and 7boy have an art class together. I went to pick them up and our friend needed me to bring her son home as she had just hurt her foot. I dropped him off no problem. I got back in the car and I could smell seasoning in the air. I look down to the center console of the car and the small packet of rice crackers I had in the car was missing. 7boy looked nervous and he couldn’t talk. Not because he was frozen with fear but because his mouth was full of rice crackers like a cartoon squirrel! We were on our way home for dinner but he had to eat them because they were there. Some one had to eat them why not me he thought! He has the impulse control of “Winning” era Charlie Sheen and 1998 Dennis Rodman combined!

2girl will see me bring in the fruit and vegetables from the car and she will ask for one of everything. It is maddening!

One night during dinner 10boy said He was full and couldn’t eat anymore. My wife and I were shocked as he’s our best eater and we would nominate him for the hunger games…wait….*Googles the Hunger Games*…You mean that movie wasn’t about hungry African waterbeasts trying to eat white marbles? Pass! So 10boy puts his bowl on the sink and in one movement opens the fridge and sticks his hand in the sprinkle cheese bag and shovels it Into his mouthhole! So much for being full.

Then there’s 12boy who is a food sneaker. He will creep into the kitchen and open the pantry and feast on anything that is already open. He’s a crafty bugger. So one day my wife bought a 24 pack of cookies. I walked past the box and I noticed 3 missing. I asked all of the kids who took the cookies. Denials all round.

They all blame what must be my 5th kids whose name is “Wasn’t me.” That guy gets the blame for every thing. Tooth paste on the mirror,a messy toilet and an he always seems to eat all of the peanut butter. Eventually he cracked and confessed but not before he said it was a stitch up and I was the one who stole the cookies!

They are great kids and I love them with all my heart but They are eating me out of house and home. I saying I fully understand what my Dad meant when I was a hungry kid on the hunt for “SumfingAeet!”