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November 3, 2020

Medieval Love: How I Met my Husband

We first met at a medieval dance practice.

We were both part of the Society for Creative Anachronism (SCA).  I joined the group in college while I was getting my bachelors of science in chemistry.  He’d received his associates in accounting and was working at Office Depot.

Each Wednesday night, for about two hours, we would get together as a group of about 10 to 15 people and dance.  This type of dance is a little like square dancing, but less western. The idea of these dances is to be social.  There may be some partnering, but it’s not for the whole night.  I liked spending time with the other people who were there to dance and socialize.

He figured dance practice was a great way to pick up chicks.  His mom thought he should go to church and meet a good Christian girl.  That is probably the farthest from what I am, being a witch and all.

At this dance practice, we got kicked out because it was finals week.  Apparently groups and clubs weren’t supposed to meet during that time period, I guess to encourage people to study more.  We chatted as a group a little and parted ways.  He later told me he hoped I didn’t notice him checking out my rack.

Fast forward a couple weeks and we met again at the SCA fighter practice.  I would normally get together with a couple of drummers and a few dancers and we would belly dance before the drummers would move on to their fighting practice.  That day, only one drummer showed up and no other dancers, so we were just hanging out.  The SCA guy from dance practice happened to show up early, too, and decided to spend some time with us.

Since I wasn’t dancing, and the drummer wasn’t drumming, I decided to sit down.  The SCA guy offered for me to rest up against him.  I learned his name was David and he really liked the smell of my hair. 

He didn’t have his fighting gear with him that day and he invited me to go to dinner with him.  I told him I’d already had dinner.  I think I ate spaghetti that night.  We went to Pita Pit, which was one of his favorite restaurants in downtown Colorado Springs.  I sat there and chatted with him while he ate his dinner.

During our conversation he said he had three questions to ask me.  

“Are you dating anyone?”  “No.” 

“Do you want to be dating anyone?” “Maybe.” 

“Do you want to try dating me?”  “Sure.”

That started our official dating period.  

 

He said he was getting ready to go on a camping trip over Memorial Day weekend, but would call me when he got home.  I’d never done SCA camping before, so I didn’t know when he would be back, but I figured sometime that Monday.

I worked at Michael’s Arts and Crafts at the time, so that kept me busy for most of the weekend.  Monday evening came and I hadn’t heard from him.  I figured he wasn’t that interested in me.  At the time, I had pretty low self-esteem.  

I never had a boyfriend in high school.  I was never asked out by boys, or even to dance with anyone at dances.  Then I had a boyfriend shortly outside of high school who moved away to college and soon forgot about me.  I eventually met a guy online who lived with his parents in Indiana.  I didn’t think too much of it since I was still living with my parents while going to college. I visited him and he asked me to marry him. He ended up moving in with me and my parents and that was a train wreck.  He was rude, complained a lot about the job I got him, and how my mom didn’t clean the house enough.  I gave the ring back.  After all that, I thought I was unlovable.

Right about the time I was ready to give up hope that Memorial Day weekend, David called and invited me out to a movie.

He came and picked me up in his little red ‘92 Honda Civic.  The poor thing was beat up, but it got him to where he needed to go and got great gas mileage.  We drove out to the theater on Powers and looked at the offerings.  Most of the movies were already in mid-session and the next ones wouldn’t start for a while, keeping us out late.  He had to be at work by 5 am to receive the truck shipment at Office Depot, so he suggested we go back to his place and watch a movie. While working at Michael’s we would receive trucks at 5 in the morning, so I knew exactly what he meant about getting up early.

I wanted to spend more time with him, so I was down for whatever. I wanted to know more about him which, to me, is an important part of dating.  So, we drove back across town to his little apartment that he shared with another SCAdian I knew.  After picking through the various movies he and his roommate owned, we settled on The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. 

I don’t remember much about the movie to this day, but that’s because I’m not a movie person.  I remember liking it.  At the end of the movie, he kissed me, then took me back home.  This was the perfect way to end the evening, because of how shy I was.

That respect for me said more than words ever could have.  

After dating for about six months, he asked me to marry him in December. It was at a friend’s birthday party at Meadow Muffins, when it was still around.  I happened to be chatting with a friend there about a jewelry party I went to, one of those pyramid scheme type parties, and the jewelry I bought.  He was sitting right next to me and placed a jewelry box on the table.  He suggested I tell her about the one in this box.  I sat there for a few seconds, trying to wrap my head around what was going on.  I didn’t understand why he had a piece of my jewelry.  Apparently my friend picked up on it right away.

When I opened the box, inside was a ring with three large aquamarines and four little diamonds, two on each end.  I didn’t want diamonds, I wanted color, so he got the perfect ring.  In the lighting, I think they all looked like diamonds and my friend was really surprised by it. It didn’t matter to me.

We got married nearly two years later because we wanted to get married in the fall and the next fall would be too soon, with all the planning we would have to do. We did it all ourselves, outside of the catering.  We wanted to get our pictures outside with the changing of the leaves.  For me, the fall has always been more of a magical time.  Cooler temperatures, the color of the leaves, and the smell of change in the air.

We’ve been married for 12 years and I haven’t shot him yet!  It’s a running joke between us, because we are both very stubborn and strong willed, and I’m a Ginger with the temper to match. Also, he likes guns, so there’s bound to be one nearby at any given time.  For the most part, I no longer participate in the SCA, but he does.  We have mutual friends who participate so I will spend time with them at times, but usually not at events.  Now, I’ve moved on to Steampunk and he likes to join in with that.  It’s less political and we still get to dress up and have fun.

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