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December 29, 2020

Feeling Overwhelmed is Not a Failure—How to take Things One Moment at a Time.

“We can do hard things” is a phrase I’ve heard from one of my favorite authors: Glennon Doyle.

This post isn’t going to go the way you think it is…

These words, when I swish them around in my mind in the early morning hours, don’t sit well with me. I guess it would depend on the individual reading them and how they are feeling at any given moment.

We can all be triggered by the tiniest things this year and have been known to quickly and rather harmfully to judge and participate in the cancel culture movement.

So when I am sitting here faced with the idea that once more, we are being forced to shut down our towns, cities, and businesses, hideaway in our homes, and relive March to June of 2020 once more, I don’t know if I can just sit here anymore. I don’t think I can accept one more hard thing.

Sure, I’m resilient as the next person, and I have the spiritual wisdom inside of me that knows it’s up to me how I wish to feel. I know happiness is a choice most of us are capable of making, yet sadness doesn’t really seem to be a choice. It seems to be an emotion that is energy in motion.

I know that we are here to thrive and not only survive ourselves and this one life we have been given as a gift. I can conjure up a dance party in my living room at any time, meditate my ass off, and as a last resort, re-binge watch episodes of “The Office” once more.

But what I don’t want to hear is that we can do hard things. Feeling into this phrase is most likely meant to help us navigate this wonky time on our planet. It’s probably intended to stoke the fires of our inner warrior goddesses and things like that and get us into pushing through and fighting hard to be in a happy state of being.

I read these words as what happens if someone cannot do the hard thing again? Then what? I hear failure under these words if someone isn’t strong enough to handle one more crazy rule or thing now.

I’m blessed to be one of the people who will and can do the hard things (be sure I have a loving family around me, nobody has lost their job, and we live in a pretty sweet house), but there are others out there who flipping can’t. What does this phrase mean for them?

I’m over the Rah, Rah, Sis Boom Bah posts from love and lightworkers who repeatedly tell us that it’s our mission to light this b*tch up and step into our callings.

Yes, I’ve done this, and it seemed like great advice at the time, but I can’t stop thinking of those who are suicidal, depressed, suffer from anxiety, and are totally alone this holiday because of rules. Maybe these beauty folks just freaking can’t do the hard thing.

Now more than ever, we really have to watch our statements and see them as soul contracts with who we want to become. It doesn’t matter to me how much schooling you have acquired or how many PhDs are displayed on your walls. Our words are potent, and we don’t know who is riding on our every syllable, especially those of us who have a following on social media.

Someone is always watching us and listening to our guidance.

Where does we can do hard things land with you? Is this something you abide by and truly accept, or is it something you can feel under and dig out to examine?

No, it doesn’t have to be hard. We can get into our energies and consciously choose to feel appreciation and joy. But sometimes, it just is hard.

And the best thing we can do is accept that it’s hard for each one of us individually in any given moment. Maybe the next moment is happy. But what I won’t accept is the idea that you can fail yourself if you can’t do the hard thing right now.

We can all do a hard thing but maybe not this hard thing right now. Maybe we don’t have the energy to pretend we are okay with this, slap a hidden smile on our face, and act like what is occurring is on with us.

We can do hard things feels like a setup. It feels like a stern grown-up forces his too small for his age son up to bat, and the pitcher just keeps throwing bowling balls at his head. But it’s okay, son: “You can do hard things.” As the people in the stands just cheer and yell at him that he can do this. Maybe he cries and doesn’t want to do this thing.

The phrase might set us up to deepen into negative and low thoughts. It might bring up thoughts of not being good enough or letting others down. It has the potential to steer us toward uplifting inspiration and then come crashing down on our heads because we weren’t emotionally available to keep up with these high expectations.

I really hope we can do the hard things, I really do.

I wish for faith, strength, and hope for all who are setting out on the hard journey and remember how to go within, get quiet, and connect back to their real selves. We need to go back to our roots and reconnect to our communities, friendships, and neighbours.

What we need to accept that things feel hard today, and then take things one moment at a time.

~

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