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December 19, 2020

How COVID exposed New Age Narcissism.

During this global pandemic that has disrupted life as we know it, many people have attempted to find the silver lining in the chaos.

For some, it has brought people closer to their friends and families. For others, it has slowed them down and got them to reevaluate their lives and careers. Some picked up healthy habits, while others gave in to unhealthy ones.

In the end, it has brought many things inside of us to the surface. It has left many of us exposed to a layer of truth about ourselves and society that we were unaware of before.

An example of this paradigm shift is the mass exodus we are seeing away from the “New age/Conscious” community as it currently stands. This article is difficult for me to write, as I have been deeply integrated into this world for over 15 years. Still, like many of you, I have always felt that something was off, although I couldn’t pinpoint it underneath all of the blisstractions.

Interestingly enough, when I first entered it, I myself was probably somewhat higher on the narcissistic spectrum that we all land somewhere on. I just got off a reality show. I had fame, money, power, and celebrity friends.

And then I found a community that celebrates the “self” above all else and covers up its own narcissism with spiritual fluff. Replacing the hard work of long-term intimacy with temporary eye-gazing connections. People having permission to drop others and move on, or to not show up and be reliable by saying that they were in the moment and following their bliss. Having festival dopamine highs and not having to take on much responsibility afterward.

It was all of the good stuff without any of the hard work, which could be a shortcut for the self-absorbed who often care more about feeling good than doing good.

But something happened with aging and having a wider perspective. Over the years, I noticed that the less that I became self-absorbed, the more I couldn’t stand what I was seeing in this community that I once loved. The more that I went inward to do the harder therapeutic work beyond ecstatic dance and three-day workshops, the more I realized that I was avoiding the parts of myself that I had shame around. And the less validation that I sought from others, the more I saw how we were all stroking each other’s wounds and, in a way, using each other to temporarily feel better.

We were all conscious, woke, free, evolved, transcending, and special. Or so we thought.

There were a lot of goddesses, warriors, priestesses, and shamans, yet not enough humanity. I saw people who had many spiritual acquaintances, social media friends, and event buddies, yet a disproportionate number of them who would actually be there for them when life gets hard and when things get real.

How could so many people be surrounded by so many other people and still feel so lonely and misunderstood? I witnessed a lack of commitment and discipline and constant excuse-making. There is growing research in psychology that links New Age Beliefs, spiritual superiority, and narcissism that is worth exploring in our community.

This was one of the few gifts of 2020, as it put a colossal spotlight on the negative impact that spiritual bypassing has on the world and on ourselves.

And for those paying attention…there is no going back.

If there was ever a golden opportunity to go inward and focus on your “self,” without distractions and excuses, this was the year to do so. Yet, many have done quite the opposite and refused to accept things as they are. Instead, they went down rabbit holes of conspiracy theories to make themselves feel better during these uncertain times. It was predictable that a rise in conspiracy theory beliefs would happen during this pandemic. It is easier to “know” that a conspiracy theory is definitely the truth than it is to sit in the unknown chaos and accept that our society is actually quite fragile, and we don’t have as much control as we think.

People were so desperate to have control over something—anything—that they became easy to manipulate. While for many, it was a time to surrender and trust, for others, it was a time to attach even more so to their comfort zones, even if it meant denying reality. In this way, even if what we “know” isn’t the actual truth, at least we have something to cling on to, and there is a sense of comfort in that.

Many people attacked the other side by saying that we are “sheep” and are living in fear. There is never a consideration that they themselves may have suppressed fear. For some, it is a fear of not being in control. For others, it is the anxiety of having to give up any aspects of themselves for the greater good of the collective. God forbid they had to be inconvenienced for a few months. Perhaps the people wearing masks are actually the ones who showed courage, selflessness, and true awareness of the fact that we are in this experience together and we all impact one another.

Disinformation and emotional manipulation have always been a part of human history.

In the past, it has convinced white people that Black people are not fully human. It has convinced parents to burn their own children for being witches. And it has sparked up thousands of religions and beliefs that people have been willing to kill and die for. However, due to the Internet, the speed of misinformation and manipulation spreading is at a record high, and humanity needs an Intellectual Renaissance to evolve and survive.

This year, we have learned that our species is unprepared in many ways, both psychologically and systematically. We believe pseudoscience we read on the Internet over the millions of people who have dedicated their entire lives to studying science and health. These current times have overlapped two demographics that you would never think are similar to each other.

The Far Right and the New Age Community.

We have learned that if you go far left and far right, on a round Earth, you’ll eventually crash into one another and overlap. (Sorry flat-earthers). While most people who are grounded in reality fall between these two extremes, it is a potent reminder of the wisdom of choosing the middle path. For it is the most stable and in tune with a broader perspective of truth and is not as easy to tilt over from cognitive dissonance.

Spiritual bypassing is a form of escapism fueled by magical thinking and emotionally driven rationale designed to self-soothe.

Both far-left and far-right extremes are driven by pure emotion over logic and by imaginative storylines over truth. People in these groups feel like they are part of some Blockbuster movie of good versus evil and are the “chosen ones” to save humanity from a secret society. However, this externally-projected, but internally-motivated belief reflects a damaged psyche that desperately wants to feel a part of something different from actual reality.

This might seem like an extreme example and it is not to compare the outcome of the two, but when it comes to the fascism/spiritual crossover we are seeing this year, something that was somewhat similar happened with Hitler and the Nazis, who used esoteric beliefs to promote their brainwashing tactics. It is often predicated on hierarchy and feeds off of fear and misinformation while claiming to set you free of the very thing it is promoting under disguise.

It enables an “Us versus Them” mentality and claims that it is spiritual warfare. The Nazi symbol originally was a Peace symbol.

“Hitler and his fellow Nazis sold the German people a simplistic supernatural fantasy and conspiracy theory, in which all their problems were caused by a hidden global elite of monsters/vampires/demons—that is, the Jews—but the magical light-warriors of the Nazi party would defeat them in a cosmic battle, ushering in a golden age of peace and love. The Nazis fully bought into conspiracy theories themselves, like The Protocols of the Elders of Zion, which Hitler believed were genuine, but which were actually written and disseminated by Russian intelligence in around 1900, to foster anti-Jewish sentiment.” ~ Jules Evans, Nazi Hippies

Hitler also convinced his followers that journalists, scientists, and doctors were the enemy of the people. We now see both the far-right and people in the “spiritual” communities, thinking similar things, and that Trump is their hero.

We have people like JP Sears going to events where they “pray” for Donald Trump to save us and bring “Christ Consciousness” into the world as we all transcend into 5D. Let us remember that we are talking about an egomaniac pathological liar with 26 sexual assault accusations, a history of racism, and a list that can’t fit into this one article. It does not take much to see that Trump lacks emotional intelligence, empathy, social awareness, or consideration for others. This does not represent love, consciousness, or inclusivity.

So why do the far-right and new age people follow him?

Because Trump being in power gave these people permission for their own narcissism to exist. The parts of them have been shamed and suppressed have been forgiven through his unapologetic embrace of this shadow.

In a twisted way, it sets them free. Their reptilian brains are activated by an alpha-male as their insecurities find a home inside of dominance. And once again, I am not comparing the outcomes. I would like to believe that we have evolved enough as a species to not go down the same violent path. But it is important to understand the core social psychology that leads to this level of fear, hatred, and separation, as it repeats throughout history with different leaders and orators guiding people away from their own hearts and logic and putting them in a distrustful state on purpose.

The mostly white, Qanon/Spiritual Cultists believe a secret group of celebrities and Democrats rape and eat children in order to live longer. They all jumped on the Save The Children hashtag, even though the hundreds of organizations who actually work on saving children have rebuked the movement. You would think that organizations that have dedicated all their time and resources to help children would be thrilled to get new support, but they weren’t. Because it wasn’t real, and it did nothing but distract people from the work that is actually being done every day.

All it took was an anonymous person named Q, who many believe is actually part of a psyops campaign, to trick millions of people. It showed the rest of society how easy it is to brainwash and emotionally manipulate people when they are scared. It taught us how easy it is to start a cult and get people to believe anything you say. And people who get high off of power know how to use their words to get these otherwise good people into a hypnotic spell to follow them.

The constant attack on all the expert scientists, doctors, psychologists, and journalists who are well-known and successful, combined with the automatic embrace of all the alternative doctors and underground journalists without even questioning them is not “conscious.” It is fear-based, illogical, and needs to be called out.

When we talk about these industries, we are talking about millions of individuals around the world who have dedicated their entire lives to studying and understanding their field.

Do they get it wrong sometimes? Yes.

Do they act selfishly sometimes? Yes.

But also…do you? Of course.

I have learned that it is part of the human condition, and with such a large sample pool, it is easy to find people on all sides that are corrupt or misinformed. But after traveling the world and being involved in many different communities, I’ve come to learn that humans are humans no matter where you go.

Are there corporations that unethically make money off of people? Absolutely.

But are there also people in the spiritual community that do the same? Yup.

Are there government officials that lie and are corrupt? Absolutely.

But are there also conscious con-artists that do the same? You better believe it.

People existing within an industry guilty of these behaviors are not evidence that the entire industry is built on those behaviors. It is only evidence that those people are. I have seen the same behaviors no matter what community I went into. It is not an excuse to automatically distrust all social systems, which, by the way, are much more peer-reviewed and under scrutiny than random pseudoscience Internet organizations are.

There is this false narrative that everything on the mainstream news is in on a global conspiracy, even though there are millions of employees working at thousands of news outlets in hundreds of different countries. The narrative suggests that if it is mainstream, it is automatically fake. And it is alternative. It is automatically real. But the truth is that underground and independent news outlets can manipulate and lie just as much as mainstream news does. We saw this in misinformed documentaries like “Plandemic” by fearmonger Mikki Willis. This film actually promoted that wearing a mask is what “activates” the coronavirus. There is zero logic or science behind this claim, but millions of people ate it up and repeated it.

As somebody who went to film school, shot and edited documentaries, and has seen how TV works behind the scenes, I can assure you that clever editing, cuts, and music cues can paint a false picture and make viewers feel a certain way on purpose. It uses psychological and emotional manipulation to convince you that the misinformation they are presenting is real. But it doesn’t mean that it actually is.

We live in a strange world where so many are suspicious of those who are experts.

Every now and then, a Trump-supporting Qanon doctor will make a video saying that COVID is a hoax, and people will share it and say, “See. It’s coming from a doctor”—which is them admitting that the profession of a doctor actually means something. That’s great! This is something that we can actually agree on, as my younger sister spent many years in school on the way to becoming a doctor. It does mean something.

So then why do we use their profession to establish credibility when they are saying something that we agree with, while at the same time denying the credibility of the profession when an overwhelming majority of the millions of doctors who are part of the “medical establishment” are saying the complete opposite? Why do we trust fringe doctors so easily? Especially when they are not even infectious disease specialists.

We have to admit to ourselves that most of us do not actually know much about how medicine, health, and the scientific process works. We are not trained or educated on these topics, and it is unbelievably arrogant to say that what we read on the Internet is closer to the truth than people who spend decades studying, researching, and peer-reviewing.

Next time you need life-saving surgery, would you go to a “non-establishment” person who is not trained in surgery?

Next time you need emergency dental work, would you trust someone who has never done it before and is basing their approach on something they read on the Internet?

The choice seems obvious, yet time after time, we discredit professionals while lifting up alternative “anti-mainstream” propaganda from people who do not have any education or knowledge in the specific field. We have seen this phenomenon even in music when an underground band becomes successful. They suddenly become attacked for being “mainstream” instead of acknowledged that their music is so good that it grew a huge audience.

Our society punishes experts, as we are paranoid that everybody is lying to us. And that big money controls every single aspect of society. I am not downplaying that money has influence and that there are people who abuse their power or companies that make mistakes. I am highlighting that our paranoia has closed us off from information that can actually help us, such as the fact that masks 100% help slow the spread of COVID.

How quickly do these very same people who deny science call 911 and get in an ambulance to go to a hospital when there is a medical emergency? And even the queen of the Law of Attraction, Esther Hicks, who spent years talking about how we can heal with our minds, ended up taking her husband, Jerry Hicks, into chemotherapy until he, unfortunately, died from cancer. Until this day, it is difficult to get a direct answer about it, as it contradicts so much of what they teach about the law of attraction. This is an example of when reality overrides spiritual beliefs.

You can believe whatever you want to believe, but ultimately, science and truth will prevail. Just ask the breatharians who passed away because they were spiritually manipulated into believing they can live off of “prana.”

In the same way that we look at the past in disbelief at how humans used to live, I believe the future will do the same to us and our current beliefs. Our species must intellectually evolve if it wants to survive, and 2020 has shown how much work we still have to do.

It must be exhausting to live in a constant paranoia state, thinking the entire world is in on a secret plot. The greatest conspiracy is asking ourselves, “What if a majority of things are actually what they really are?”

When you think about it, society as we know it is pretty brand new, and 99.9% of human existence looked nothing like it does today. We grow up and see the world as it currently is and since it is all we know, we make our assumptions as if any of this is normal, when we are actually the first generation to live in society as it currently is. Does it not make sense that we are still figuring it out? Does it not make sense that all these global systems of communication, finance, resources, and exchanges of ideas are all fairly new and come with flaws? That people will be exploited, used, and lied to? And that people are just discovering the reality of situations that they knew little to nothing about prior to?

Someday, there will be a disease with a much higher mortality rate, which we will not be able to defeat based on how we handled coronavirus. It is easy to forget about the past that we never experienced ourselves. We never saw life before vaccines and medical advancements. But there was a time that a single plague wiped out a whopping 50% to 60% of Europe’s entire population. That would be around 370 to 400 million people dead if it was today. And trust me, if we saw millions of people dying around us, we may have a completely different perspective on the scientific and medical advancements that we currently take for granted.

The hundreds of millions of people in the past who died or lost loved ones to diseases and viruses that we now easily defeat would be rolling in their graves if they knew that future generations would someday develop the technology, knowledge, and medicine to save millions of lives, but would refuse to do so because they don’t trust or respect doctors and scientists, thanks to uneducated attention-seekers on the Internet calling pro-science people “sheep.”

Let me say this. I do not wear masks because I am afraid.

Personally, I do not feel any fear of dying. I am actually looking forward to it, in a non-morbid spiritual perspective kind of way. For me, it is more about integrity and ethics. It is about having empathy for others and being willing to do something that barely earns the word “sacrifice” when compared to what others have given up.

Truth apparently doesn’t matter.

“Following your bliss” does.

In other words, spiritually bypass.

Because God forbid, you dared to do real therapy and take action on hard things that don’t feel good, even if they are beneficial to you.

It is hard to face, but COVID has exposed that narcissism runs rampant in our tribe. And there is growing evidence in the psychology field of the link between New Age beliefs and narcissism. It is time that we face this cold, hard truth.

2020 has exposed that many of us are still hurt children who are terrified to be alone, be with ourselves, and to face our own shadows—so much so that we would rather go to events and spread a deadly disease than to face our own silence and to sit in stillness.

It has shown us that we desperately need social validation at all costs, even if it means harming or potentially killing others.

We saw privilege on full display as influencers, yogis, gurus, and ecstatic dancers globe-trotted the world, mostly to poor countries full of people of color, during a deadly pandemic, all while showing off on their Instagram feeds how “free” they were, in the face of those who sacrificed so much to keep others safe. While they went to events and gatherings with no regard for others, nurses and frontline workers worked around the clock nonstop to the point of exhaustion to try to save lives. They are the true heroes of 2020.

What if being conscious meant actually becoming educated on the things that we have such strong opinions about? And getting educated does not mean reading an article and reposting it.

In any other world, it can take people years to become educated about something and even more time to become experts in it. But in ours, people read something, have a few “deep” conversations while they’re high at a gathering, and then fight so passionately and ignorantly about a perspective. It is not real research.

When I look around and see people willing to wear masks to protect others, I don’t see fear. I see compassion. I see empathy.

When I see people refuse to wear masks, I see selfishness. I see children in adult bodies throwing a temper tantrum. I see somebody who is making a statement, “I don’t care about your life.”

I have seen far more consideration from other groups of people outside of the New Cage community. It’s called community, but so often feels like a collective of individualism and ego. There is all this talk about vibration with no acknowledgment that all these New World Order/Illuminati conspiracies are designed to keep you in a fear-based vibration and a state of mind that has you distrusting experts and blindly following spiritual manipulators. You will not find what you are seeking at the end of that path.

So if you find that you lost a lot of friends and community in 2020, that’s okay. It has been a revealing year for many people. And the loss may actually be a reflection of a major personal growth you are going through. It is a release of a perspective that you have outgrown and because of it, the next few years may fill up your life with more grounded friends and a clearer direction.

There has been a rise in what I call Intellectual Spiritualism. It is quality over quantity and reality over magical thinking. Loss has been a big part of this year. I myself have lost two successful businesses and a majority of my community this year due to COVID and Qanon beliefs. In turn, I have been attacked and even had lies spread about me for being so publicly vocal against those throwing events, and for being a whistleblower. But if it saved even a single life, it was worth it. Sometimes we think we are experiencing loss but are actually going through a recalibration of what is real. Of what matters. If that’s you, that’s okay. You do not owe anybody anything. Let this be a time to tighten your circle or to reprioritize what matters the most to you.

It is time for all of us to grow up.

It is time for us to seek real therapy and not regurgitated spiritual advice from these so-called “gurus” and workshop leaders who have not yet faced their own shadows. There is nowhere for us to transcend to right now. If there was, we wouldn’t be here at this moment.

I believe that we chose this life and this planet during this time for a reason. I am not trying to escape it. I am trying to embrace it. To learn from it. And to be of this Earth. Not to be above it.

But to simply be with it, as it is.

Stop believing the unfounded fear that they are peddling and stop giving your power away to attention-seekers that don’t care about you. Being conscious is about being present and aware of the world as it actually is.

Anything else is just a denial of reality and the suppression of deeper truths about ourselves.


More thoughts on the pandemic from Apollo here: Are COVID Lockdowns really the Cause of Suicide, Depression & Domestic Violence?


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