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December 29, 2020

How to Accept Rejection (even if it Hurts).

That heart-wrenching, soul-shattering, tear-jerking moment. There is no other way to put it.

It is the feeling nobody can prepare for, despite our best efforts: rejection.

If you are a living, breathing human being, this feeling is one that has been experienced. Even children experience rejection. It may not seem as big as a deal to you but when a little kid hears the word no following their request for ice-cream for breakfast, it hurts as much as I do not love you.

Rejection comes in many different disguises, though each time it rears its ugly face, the sting is just the same.

Upon reading this article, I encourage you to think back over all the times rejection has appeared in your life, and how it made you truly feel. As well as why it made you feel that way. You were not hurt by the fact the man at the bar turned you down, but more so by the fact that you got your hopes up in the first place.

A not-so-fun fact about rejection is that it can feel like physical pain to those confronted by it. Think back to the time you were rejected and the pain that followed. It was more than a deep settling in your chest. It is feasible you felt as though you were physically impaired by the heart-stabbing sensation taking place.

Rejection is not a new concept to me. Just as others have, I encountered rejection often. From my own mother, the boy I had a crush on in elementary school, and the stray cat. Unfortunately, each time stings just as much as the last. The good news, however, is that much like a stubbed toe, the hurt you face subsides, though it was once so prominent you could think of nothing else.

The question I would like to answer is how. How do I get over that horrible feeling that has my heart in my stomach?

I am no expert, however, I do have quite a bit of fieldwork under my belt. Typically, when handling a rejection, I get angry and aggravated. That is a natural response, though not one that is necessarily good for our recovery. Therefore, my piece of advice for after that temper tantrum that was the best possible course of action is to express the feelings exploding on the inside. Whether through drawing, painting, singing, crying into a pint of ice cream watching “The Notebook.” Whatever floats our boat, so long as it does not start sinking.

The months following a breakup with my own mother, I decided to not sulk around, but instead work as much as I could. I started a second job, looked for volunteer work, and began a short-lived workout routine. Short-lived workout schedules are the best ones.

Speaking from experience, piling our plate too high seems like a good distraction, but is terrible.

I burnt out quickly. I was as high-strung as ever, and the problem did not disappear. It simply took a leave of absence so it could grow bigger. Do not let rejection eat you away like that. Take time to sulk around. Then, I challenge you to take the reins and ride into the sunset with the best lover of all: yourself.

Rejection comes in all shapes and sizes, but one thing everyone can agree with is that it stinks. Next time you are turned down, remember that the person who rejected you has felt it too.

It will hurt the same, but perchance it will help to know truly that you are not alone.

~

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