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December 17, 2020

When they’ve Taken Everything: How to Heal from a Narcissistic Relationship.

Unfortunately, if we don’t love ourselves enough, we accept less of what we truly deserve.

It is a cruel lesson, but we live, and we learn, right? 

I’m sure we’ve all been there. But we don’t necessarily have to regret giving our love away.

Love is a beautiful thing, and sometimes it gets abused by ugly people. But they don’t get to walk away with a Pulitzer for being the biggest mistake of our lives.

Soon, at best, they will be a side note, an off-key in a perfectly imperfect symphony, a pesky and probably necessary distortion in our evolution.

You tried to break me, but you failed miserably.

Often, when a narcissist can’t feed a lover’s fire, it threatens their existence. Limiting a partner then becomes their only passport to relevance. The only blueprint they can assemble is a pathetic love application—a mental cage guarded by fear and self-rejection.

You are the freaking brand ambassador of pain. 

Remember, only cowards put others down so that they can rise. Weaklings smother the fire in others so only they can shine.

Love is my religion, and the way you love is a crime.

We’re often enchanted by their smile and paralyzed by the soft kisses planted on our forehead. They are a master manipulator of emotions, keeping others perpetually drunk in foolishness.

Admittedly, it makes sense that someone who loves a narcissist might stand little chance against their dancing tongue and meandering fingers. But don’t apologize for giving and caring, trusting and believing, being open and vulnerable.

Vulnerability is a beautiful thing—not even they can ruin that.

They might try to convince their partner that love is the magic wand—the only thing needed to create a healthy relationship—but that is another lesson and a lie. (Be happy to unlearn it.)

Love is beautiful but easily manipulated—love is, therefore, not enough.

You might be thinking:

But, they said they loved me! 

But was there respect when they went around dipping their fingers into other people’s pies?

But, they said they loved me! 

But was there devotion when you couldn’t see eye to eye?

But, they said they loved me! 

But was there dedication to the cause—a commitment to the vows?

But, they said they loved me! 

But was there fidelity when lust came knocking?

To this type of person, hurting others feels like cruising around in a red Cadillac—a wedding getaway car with tin cans.

Many will know that pain like the back of their hands. 

But, now, we can smell bullsh*t from a mile away; we’ve waded in those waters for far too long.

Slaloming their way around others’ defenses probably came naturally—the touch of beauty; the gaze of the beast.

We simply have to say, “I hope you get what you need.”

And we can feel terribly sorry for whoever comes their way next—hope they find healing and turn over a new leaf. At least we will know what they are now; we have it figured out. 

They are a narcissist.

If crushing souls was an Olympic sport, this type of person would be the GOAT (the greatest of all time).

But here is how to move forward (it’ll be “breaking news”): simply don’t care.

Or say, “Please stay away from me.”

If we trust someone with our mind, body, and soul, and they take everything, we have to defend ourselves from that crazy sh*t.

Do you remember when you said you would take care of me? 

Instead, they remove the crown on people’s heads and make them forget who they are.

But we can come back; we can reclaim the crown. 

I know who the f*ck I am.

Repeat this: I am filled with fire. I am fierce. I am a warrior. I am brilliant. I am great.

Their inability to recognize a person’s worth is their problem.

Remember that the world is an oyster—a playground. Abundance is anyone and everyone’s birthright. Grab it with both hands.

It might take a while to get there, but we’ll start to see how miserable they actually are—where the toxicity comes from.

The toxic mental maze they designed will fail its durability and performance test.

Their bitter, hurtful words will start to lose their power. 

And then we will start to breathe again. Faith, hope, and love will replace the cold, manipulative, and toxic experiences.

Stitching a broken spirit back together—piece by piece—is a tough healing journey. But no matter how deep the cut, time heals every wound.

And the scars are beautiful because they remind us of the true meaning of life—that we are fearfully and wonderfully made.

We won’t be confused, drained, and imprisoned forever.

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