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How resilient are you?
How resilient are you, little girl? Let me keep throwing things at you so you can dodge these balls of self-destruction and pain until you fall.
How resilient are you, little girl? When will you finally give in and fall to your knees?
I am trying to knock you down, and you just keep getting up again.
It seems like these balls of pain are making you stronger.
If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you are getting better at dodging the balls.
Here, let me try another tactic. I will catch you while you are already down.
When you are relaxed and asleep, I will come in and haunt your dreams. I will make you feel the fear and wrath of my existence when you least expect it.
You will wake up with your heart racing, feeling like it is real—but wait. You are not going to stay in bed and let the darkness overtake you?
No, you are getting up anyway to face the day.
You are sharing with friends about the voices that tell you, you aren’t good enough and the fears that keep you awake at night. What’s happening, though, is they aren’t penetrating you like they used to. You are getting stronger and braver too, and trust me, I’m not one to give compliments.
Your resilience has brought you this far, but I am lurking around the next corner to knock you down. I don’t know what sneaky tactic I will use next, but beware, and watch out for me. I am the negative side of your conscious, and I tell you what you don’t want to hear. I make you think about the things you don’t want to face. I remind you that you have it so good that something bad is bound to happen to you next.
I create in you deep-seated anxiety about your worst fears coming to fruition.
I make your happy life seem like it’s doomed to fail.
I am your enemy, and the only way to get rid of me is to call me out. To rat me out to others.
To tell me to shut up and to walk away.
Your resilience has gotten you this far, but just wait; I’m watching.
When you let your guard down, I will be here throwing those jabs. Sooner or later, maybe I’ll get bored and walk away and pick on somebody who is weaker.
But I have to tell you in private. All of these people lately are becoming wise to my ways. They aren’t listening to me like they used to, they aren’t holding in the feelings of shame and remorse like they used to; they are sharing the shame and vulnerability that has plagued them for so long, and it is washing it clean away from them.
Please stop telling people the secret of leaving me behind. What will I do if everyone gets healthy and I don’t have anyone to pester? What will happen if all the people I’m used to badgering come clean to my dark ways? What will become of me? The dark inner critic, the deep, dark voice of shame in your psyche? Where will I go?
Here’s what the APA says about resilience:
“Psychologists define resilience as the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, or significant sources of stress—such as family and relationship problems, serious health problems, or workplace and financial stressors. As much as resilience involves “bouncing back” from these difficult experiences, it can also involve profound personal growth.
While these adverse events, much like rough river waters, are certainly painful and difficult, they don’t have to determine the outcome of your life. There are many aspects of your life you can control, modify, and grow with. That’s the role of resilience. Becoming more resilient not only helps you get through difficult circumstances, it also empowers you to grow and even improve your life along the way.”
We’ve got this, ladies and gentlemen. We can show resilience in the face of adversity.
If we are stuck, we can ask for help, and if the voices get too loud, we can lean on one another to hold each other up.
Cheers to coming out stronger than we were before.