January 23, 2021

I’m Done being the “Nice Girl.”

I don’t want to be the nice girl.

Just writing that I can feel the tension, the questions, the judgement.

From the time we’re little, as girls, we’re taught that the best thing we can be in this world is to be “nice.” Don’t get me wrong—kindness is a beautiful thing, especially in a world that feels like it is on fire.

But I don’t want to be the nice girl above all else. There are so many other important things to be as a woman.

As women, we carry with us our early ideas about being nice. We grit our teeth in the face of adversity and bite our tongues because we’re afraid to seem “b*tchy.” We smile with kindness because it isn’t nice to stand up to someone. We avoid confrontation at all costs—even at the cost of who we are, of our pride, of what we believe in.

We give selflessly until we are drained, empty, tired on the floor because that’s what nice people do. We quiet the voices in our hearts because we’d rather be seen as nice than anything else.

I don’t want to be the nice girl.

I want to be the brave girl who goes after her dreams fearlessly.

I want to be the outspoken girl who defends herself when necessary and doesn’t get stomped into the ground.

I want to be the strong girl who knows that she has to take care of herself because she can’t give and give and give without consequences.

I want to be the grounded girl who knows who she is and is proud to be recklessly, wildly, unabashedly herself.

I want to be the loud girl who doesn’t let her voice be silenced for fear of being seen as mean or b*tchy or bossy for sharing what she thinks.

I want to be nice. But there are so many other things to be, too. Nice does not trump all the others.

I hope that no matter who you are, you find the courage to be yourself. I hope you find the strength to rise above the priorities the world sets for you, the identities they set for you.

Because only you get to decide your label, your priorities, and what you want to be.


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