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February 23, 2021

Be Your Valentine.

Let’s take a moment to celebrate the most important love in your life on this day.. and that is Love of Self.  There is literally no other more important love in your life that you will experience than Self love.

It’s so easy to get swept away with so many different emotions during this time, whether you’re single or even in a relationship! Expectations of how we want things to be..waiting on someone else to fulfill our needs.. to save us.. and this can show up in sooo many different ways. But what if I told you that all of those things you’re down about, whether you’re expecting your partner to show up in a way, or waiting desperately for someone else to come into your life and bring you happiness, at the root of that is essentially how we are not showing up for our own Self. The moment we can love ourselves unconditionally and meet our own needs is the moment we stop seeking it outwardly in any which way that we can find it. Except, we will never find it because the love we are seeking is our own.

So, I invite you to take all of that love that you have to give, and believe me, it’s PLENTY.. and give it to yourself. Whether you’re single or in a relationship, there is literally no better time to declare that love for yourself and to show it then on this holiday made specifically just for that!

Years ago, this day used to fill me with so much tension. Waiting for my significant other to show up for me or wow me. And I used to go out of my way for them and shower them with so much love in forms of fancy dinners, expensive gifts, love letters and tokens of my love etc etc… and I realized that I was doing for them all of the things I wanted to be done for me. But at no point was I channeling any of that love to myself. I just poured myself out to those who were not deserving of it. I wanted to be seen and I wanted approval and I wanted to be loved. And I developed such a disdain for Valentine’s Day. It certainly didn’t help that my last ex broke up with me on Valentine’s Day after we got back from dinner..

But things are so much different for me now. And maybe I needed all these wrong people to show me what love wasn’t in order for me to learn what love IS. And that learning how to love myself was going to be my greatest love story of my life. That I didn’t have to pour love to these other vessels that could never be filled, and start pouring it into myself. It is when I am in love with myself that I can really see the value of love and the power that it holds. I am experiencing love from a place of fullness and balance and not from a place of emptiness and wounding. And it’s not to say that I no longer have wounding and that I’m always going to be in balance.. but I’m in a place where I have awareness of my wounding and I can have understanding for my actions and thoughts as well as deep compassion for myself during those times.
It’s a time when we can become tender with ourselves and allow ourselves to be vulnerable so that we can express our needs and meet them on our own and also, we can start to ask for our needs to be met. It is in loving ourselves where we become our own custodians and we can begin to advocate for our needs, wants and desires.

It’s a process and every day may be different. Your journey is unique to you and there is no time frame for when you think you should have it all figured out and completed. I mean, that’s why we’re here, right?

So, if you’re feeling anxious, low or sad this weekend, stop for a moment and take a look at the ways that you’re not showing up for yourself. And start funneling that incredible love that you have to give, directly into your own self. There is literally no one else more deserving of it than you. I promise you.

So, from my full heart to your full heart, Happy Valentine’s Day. May you finally see that you are the most extraordinary love of your life and may you finally show it to yourself.

Much love to you all,
– Giusi .xoxo.

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Giuseppina Barberi  |  Contribution: 1,075