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February 15, 2021

INSTRUCTIVE CONDESCENSIONS 9

“While listening to this collection of intricately contrived ballads it got me to thinking: If I were a woman, I’d be cunning and insincere. I’d break people’s hearts for sport. I’d never say please or thank you. I’d be aloof and imperious. I’d take one bite of the apple then toss it away. I’d have lovers who pamper me. I’d never be given a traffic ticket. I’d be vague and indistinct. I’d be in control of the situation. That’s what I was thinking.” Francis Don Carlos Burke, Alternative Lifestyles

 

“These gentlemen seem as unlikely a pair to be collaborating in theater as would be Glen Beck and Ricky Gervaise if co-hosting a TV awards show. It’s an abomination of nature.” Saul Gelterberg, On Location

 

“It was as though they focused their gaze on traditional folkways with such intensity that they popped by the end of the third act.” Li Quan Adonis, Hipster’s Glossary

 

“In the tradition of Mad Magazine and National Lampoon; they parody everything from religion to romance, Shakespeare to Sartre. What, me worry?” Rod Stockinghammer, Lunatic Fringe

 

“In the end I found nothing but made-up lyrics, fake ads, fictitious characters, bogus institutions, falsified documents, nasty rumors, three chords and the truth.” Pindar Lesion, Investigative Reports

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