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February 6, 2021


Maybe it is because of the loneliness of listening to opera on the radio by myself too many Saturday afternoons. It might be due to the sadness of seeing autumn leaves dripping tears outside my bedroom window after the rain on too many occasions. Perhaps it is those unsought memories of happiness that appear with random cruelness in my mind from time to time, like old photographs buried in a desk drawer that I never mean to come across, but always do, having forgotten for an interval that they were there. Or is it just the unending torment of living isolated and static amid a world throbbing with vibrant relationships. Whatever the reason, I now make my intentions known in no uncertain terms that when I die, I do not want anyone to be in attendance at my wake or funeral. I want no memorial service to be held. I desire that not a single individual, family member, friend, or acquaintance be allowed to pay their final respects to my memory in any public forum. No one whom I cared about bothered to seek my company while I lived. I shall not desire to have anyone’s company when I am being laid to rest. I do in fact prohibit it. I wish to be no one’s excuse for a reunion, an afternoon buffet, and a few cheap drinks. Damned be to living hell those who choose to defy my wish.

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