March 28, 2021

Wedding Vows for a Love I haven’t Found (Yet).

I recently listened to a meditation track by Fátima Teixeira called “Powerful Message For You.”

I encourage everyone to listen to it. It is transformative.

My heart softened as I listened.

“Write your wedding vows, even if you have not yet found your love,” she softly says in her lovely accent. I smiled and thought back to 20-something years ago. At 21 years old, I said, “I do.”

I remember attempting to write my wedding vows, and at the last minute, telling my husband-to-be, “I can’t do this. I can’t write the vows. It is too much!”

I was overwhelmed and stressed. My husband was understanding, and when I could barely speak during the reception, he placed his hand on the small of my back, which helped me get through. I cried while reading and was barely able to get the words out. I was reassured it was perfect and beautiful.

This, of course, was a lifetime ago, and now middle-aged and single, I ponder coupledom. I’m a therapist, and I also receive therapy (as most therapists do).

Today the therapist asked, “Do you want a relationship?”

The answer is yes! “I do.”

I truly do, and the pandemic has affirmed this. So after listening to Fátima’s positive, affirming piece, I wrote what stood out.

I wrote my heart out.

“Write your vows—even though you aren’t partnered—as if it is happening,” says Fátima.

This is an exercise in manifestation. I took this challenge in stride.

My heart and body softened as I wrote.

These are my vows, the ones I couldn’t write years ago for fear of vulnerability and fear of rejection. I couldn’t write because fear held me back.

Over the years, I have grown, softened, and matured.

I’ve experienced life, and I’ve triumphed over difficulties. I have faltered and fallen, and I have been able to get back up. I am taking life in a gentle stride.

The vows that I wrote that night are just as much for myself as my future mate:

My Darling One,

Today I accept you fully and completely in this moment, and I commit to love and loving.

I accept and love you as you are. I hope our life together will be long and that life will be kind.


I promise to show up and be vulnerable.

I promise to take life in stride with you.

I will try to lean into you and let you lead.

I will follow you.

I will be no more or less than you.

I will be me.

Darling, I promise

I will Love your people, and they will be my people.

In turn, those I love will be yours.

I will be your shelter; we will weather storms.

I promise to be gentle, kind, and compassionate, 

first with myself, and with you.

I will give in when needed and challenge whenever necessary.

I promise to fight.

I promise to share my thoughts.

I promise to be fair and just, and, Darling, I promise to be true

I will forgive and live freely, and together we will grow.

Reading this now, the tears flow, and I smile.

I sigh and soften.

I feel different, much lighter.

This is the beginning, I know, and I feel like there will be many revisions.

I’m happy; what a beautiful start.

Thank you, dear Fátima, with much love straight from my heart.


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