Life is full of signs and flags alerting us to look out.
Relationships that are not aligned for us are no different; they are full of red flags.
However, are you truly noticing them?
What I have learnt over the years is that if you don’t pay attention to the red flags the Universe sends you, eventually the Universe smacks you over the head and forces you to pay attention.
Yes, I’m talking to you and the Universe is using me to voice its concern and love for you.
The fact that you are reading this right now is the Universe saying, “Please listen.”
The Universe is also saying:
“You are not alone. I am leading you to the answers to your questions, leading you toward the light, leading you toward the courage, strength, and commitment to uncovering the peace and love you long for.”
Please stop resisting; please stop overlooking the red flags and the signs I keep putting out for you to see, yet you choose to dismiss! Please stop blaming yourself when things go wrong; please stop thinking you have to try harder; please stop giving your energy away to people who have proven they do not deserve you; please just be still long enough to listen to what your inner guidance is telling you.
I know you are hurting. I know you are tired. I know. I see it all and it pains me.
I want you to break those chains and release yourself from the weight of pain and suffering that you carry for others. I want you to stop hiding behind the walls that you have put in place to protect your sensitive heart.
I want you to live in flow with me, free and easy.
I want you to shine and radiate your love and light into the world.
I want you to remember who you were before you were diluted and polluted by toxic people, and I want you to rise.”
Let me take a guess—you are baffled and confused, having arrived at the familiar “crossroad” or “gateway” in your relationship. Perhaps you have been swept up in life and now feel completely lost in the chaos of your situation.
It’s possible you are still dusting off the remnants of the relationship storm, and you are just realising you allowed the red flags presented to you to go unchecked, convincing yourself, “I’m strong; I can deal with this; I can change or adjust. Things will get better.”
And then they just don’t.
I know how hard this journey can be. I have spent time walking down my own storm-filled, rocky path. But what I have discovered is there are definite red flags in relationships, and knowing them makes our journey to love a whole lot simpler and easier.
Here are some of the red flags you may be missing.
1. You feel “pressured” or “rushed” all the time; it’s all about their schedule.
2. Actually, it’s all about them—no ifs and buts or maybes. It’s about their needs, their job, their emotions (or lack of), their problems—their lack.
3. Everything that has ever happened in their life has been blamed on someone else.
4. You feel you have to drop everything and give them your undivided attention.
5. They do things if you ask for help and then complain the whole time. You just do things. If and when you notice that you’re the only one doing things and stop, they complain and question your loyalty or love.
6. They are either broke or saving for only their goals.
7. You are forever opening your wallet and would spend your last 20 dollars on them.
8. They’ll promise the world and deliver nothing.
9. They don’t want anything shared on social media.
10. Everything is just so darn hard.
11. Words and actions do not match.
12. You are sensing something is not quite right.
13. You are left feeling depleted.
14. You are made to feel bad for being you, for having boundaries, or for questioning their authority.
15. There are a lot of excuses.
16. You feel guilty if you need or want to do something without them.
17. They wallow in self-pity.
18. You’ve witnessed situations where they push others to a breaking point and then say, “See what I have to put up with? They don’t know how to behave.”
19. They refuse to take responsibility for their own choices.
20. They tell you how to do things to their liking.
21. They try to convince you they are easy-going and you need to relax more.
22. If you ask for communication, resolution, or discussion, they disappear.
23. You’ll try your hardest to overlook things they are telling you, and you focus too much on little things.
24. They’ll tell you how to fix your problems (which to you aren’t actually problems). For example, they’ll say your boss is taking advantage by asking you to work when in actual fact, it is creating a problem for them because it’s threatening their seeming control and isolation of you.)
25. You start to feel like you don’t matter.
26. You feel yourself getting lost.
27. You feel like you are the problem.
28. You have no idea how you got here.
29. They will notice you pulling away and put in some grandiose gesture, like a weekend away, but the whole time, they’ll be rushing you in and out of the car as they try to show you what a wonderful time you can have together.
30. They’ll point out how awesome they are for doing this for you.