I have been sitting staring at some photos wanting to share them, but not sure what to say about them.
It shows a journey from a 17-year-old girl as an international runner to a woman traveling the world and experiencing all life has to offer at 27.
Then, rising above her trauma and only to lose a child at 28; having a child that doctors said she could not have at 29; regaining her fitness and life after at 34, whilst never giving in until today, at 36.
Even when life had her on her knees, begging for mercy many, many times.
Here, I share me in 2010 and today in 2021, before and after a child.
It shows a story of how fitness is a lifestyle and not a 30-day program. It shows how it is all about the show-up. It is not about having the perfect environment, money, program, body, or everything you need, but just showing up doing the best you can with what you have—even if it is not better than yesterday.
I also know how hard it is to watch others get what you want. I know what it feels like to watch others’ successes and wonder what you are missing, why you can’t have a taste of that; instead, you’re moving one millimeter forward and two millimeters backward in your progress, so it feels. I know how exhausting it is to keep hitting a wall and wondering what you are doing wrong and nobody seeing your hard work. I know what it feels like to be exhausted and giving your all and not sure why, because you have no hint of proof it’s working—it is so frustrating.
However, I am learning it is a part of life—we do not all arrive in all the moments or all at once. Life has ebbs and flows or swings and roundabouts, as my dad says. We do not bloom forever; we also lose things and remain stagnant before the sunshine comes out for all too short of a moment.
These are the seasons of life in humans and nature.
However, I do know looking back at these photos now—even though I may not be what society calls successful, or be an influencer who social media platforms like Instagram will give a blue tick for, even if I ask and am an author, they say I am not worthy enough—we reap what we sow.
We always get to harvest the plants we garden in our hearts and lives; it is only a matter of when. And the presence of someone else’s success or society’s success timeline does not signal the absence of our own. In fact, everything and everyone around us is proof of what is possible—they are mentors to remind us of what we really want to achieve in the world.
So please, remember: do not worry if you are not there yet; you are on your way.
The sun will rise and everything you have worked and waited for will blossom into your reality. Everything is here waiting for you. What you sow, you reap. Fold your ego and make origami cranes.
I swear you will fly. Your time will come soon.