Here’s the thing about consistently mothering:
Sometimes you don’t want to or can’t say much about it that is positive or uplifting. Sometimes that’s the place you are in.
And that’s okay.
Life will ironically drain you of all energy reserves the same week the world is boasting, “Happy Mother’s Day!” and, “What do you want to do for it?” as if to highlight you now need to do something extra to celebrate and post flawless pictures about. Coordinated outfits and perfect lighting and half-open smiles at the effortlessness of all this—motherhood.
Nah. Here’s how I’m feeling: Tired. Swollen. Messy. Bad housekeeper.
Worrying about things I can’t control or wonder if I’m doing enough about.
Tired. Depleted. Beaten.
Tired. Tired. With normal thyroid studies and hemoglobin panels and no biological reason to blame for it.
“What do you want to do for Mother’s Day?”
Blank stares. Zone out. Do I even open my mouth to answer this? Don’t say anything if you’re not going to say something nice.
Is it 2020-2021 or just life? I ain’t sure, but I know there are people out there who share this sentiment because y’all put it all out there on Instagram.
What is the takeaway here?
Don’t force “Mother’s Day” on yourself. Don’t let anyone else. Sit your butt in a lawn chair and stare blankly for a while. Then maybe go on a walk or sleep for a while. Cry into a pillow.
Then respond that what you want for Mother’s Day is a mental health counselor. Then go see one. Love to all.