May 5, 2021

The Line between Love & Dislike is Thin.

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Growing up, I had no comprehension of human love. 

It was never expressed, nor taught. So, instinctively, everything in me longed for it.

At some point, the inevitable phenomena of love caught up with me. I went with the flow and was high on love. What mesmerized me was that, once love ceased to exist, the relationship was over. The line between love and dislike is thin.

My intellect was not content with what I had experienced; I continued to seek to comprehend what exactly love was.

In pursuit of this, I learnt to fall in love with myself. I hear it’s called self-love.

It’s self-love that led me to develop myself as a brand, be more assertive, be ambitious, and be specific on what qualified one to be my friend, tribe, and network. This self-love has led me to great strides and relationships; it has made it quite easy not to get involved in unhealthy relationships.

Reflecting on my life, I realize how love has been part of me.

When one says they are not loved, I hope they’ll reflect and see the little acts of love that they have experienced in their lives.

Love is universal:

It is a decision

It is a choice

It requires no prior knowledge or familiarity

It requires no prior preparation

It dwells within each of us

It does not differentiate race, skin color, age, nor economic divides

It knows no religion, faith, or belief

It will never fade away

It never ends

It always works

It makes us human

Love is a decision: this means irrespective of what the person we wish to share love with does or says, we still love them. Though the other person cannot reciprocate, we still choose to love them. In other words, it is unconditional love.

Love is anticipating the other person’s need: this means being able to foretell the needs of the other person. When we know someone is unwell and alone, it is love that leads us to give them a call to find out how they are progressing or pay them a visit.

Love is seeking the other person’s success: this means finding out what we can do to see the other person excel. Maybe by asking what we can do to help them get what they desire or where they wish to go.

Love is self-love: this means not allowing others to disrespect, abuse, harass, put us down, or take advantage of us. It is not because we love that we stay in an abusive relationship; instead, it is because we lack self-love.

Love is self-care: this means realizing that we are neglecting ourselves, whether it is physically, emotionally, or spiritually. It is the need to be holistic.

Love is wanting the other person to be happy: this means getting concerned when the other person expresses sadness, even when it is through non-verbal cues.

Love is sometimes dying to self: this means giving up what we would like to be there for the other. This could mean giving up going out for an already planned activity in order to stay with a one who needs some rest or even our company.

Love is recognizing we are doing or causing harm: this means, if we observe a negative reaction or response from the other, we have the courage to ask how what we said or did made them feel. Sometimes we do not know the impact of our words or actions. When people love each other, they tend to be so entangled that, at some point, they start to annoy each other without realizing it. It could be as simple as not saying hi and as complex as silently killing the other’s dreams or self-worth.

Love is admitting that we need help: this could mean saying that we need help even when the need is not visible. That sincerely has its beauty, especially if the other responds empathetically.

Love is being vulnerable: this could mean revealing something so secretive or sensitive. It may be something that the two had agreed on, but somehow, one broke the agreement. Creating space for us to be vulnerable without being judged is the purest of love.

Love is driving for miles, going the distance to be present: this could mean taking a day off from work to be with someone who’s mourning or lonely. Knowing that someone came all the way is a loving feeling.

Love is filling in the gap: this could mean visiting a parent of the other because they are too busy or far. It could mean representing a friend at their child’s sports. It could also mean visiting someone in the hospital or in prison when we don’t have to. This is a mindful way of showing love.

Love is forgiving: this could mean forgiving someone who thinks they do not deserve our forgiveness due to how grievously they feel they have wronged us. To forgive is not always easy. Sometimes, it requires a lot of courage from us. 

Sometimes, it may mean forgiving amidst our hurts; sometimes, it means forgiving and not getting together; sometimes, it means forgiving and adding more boundaries; sometimes, it means forgiving and agreeing to part ways. To forgive is not weakness; it is freedom. It’s strength. After all, who is without fault?

Love is sharing our best things: this could mean giving up something we hold close to us. It could be our personal space or material things, and it could even mean sharing intellectual knowledge. This could mean interrupting our comfort to help.

It could mean housing someone in need for some time; it could mean giving a needy person our best clothes; it could mean making time to help someone understand a lesson that they did not get in a lecture; it could mean going out of the way to explain morality to one who seems to have none; it could mean explaining mindfulness to one who possesses none. This could mean a lot of things.

Love is having the will to share it: this means we give without expecting anything in return. None of us is without something to give. It could mean giving our time, smiling, moral support, hugging someone, telephoning someone, or visiting someone,

Love is agreeing to lose in order to gain: this could mean letting go of something we love for the well-being of a relationship. It could mean giving up something we love because it is offensive to the other.

Love is being firm (and nice): this could mean adding boundaries where there were none, and it could mean being firm with someone who is doing self-harm.

Along the way, we have experienced and shared some kind of love.

We cannot exist without some level of love; do not look so hard for it.

Never stop to love.

Love is every moment’s decision.

Love is every moment’s choice.

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