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May 15, 2021

Spending Time with Him

Photo by mentatdgt on Pexels.

I’ve been a cautious kitten

We are still taking things slowly
It wasn’t until today I realized we have been together almost 6 months.

It may be real this time.
It may end in devastation tomorrow.
I wouldn’t stop loving Him if it did.
This time there is no dominating personality
There is no kneeling to expectations
There are no rules except patience, honesty and respect.

I’m a strong hearted lioness, spastic kitten sometimes.
He is an ocd veteran who manages managers managing tax everything.

I realized today also that I’m content.
Not describing it as happy, not just satisfied with our relationship, but bone deep within.

Content, I get mine without always ‘getting mine’.
Emotionally Safe and held tight. PIC.

Will I lose a man who wipes my tears as they fall and buys me chapstick to make me smile?
Who lets me yell and express myself and remains calm? I do the same in return.
Passionate people explode in motion sometimes.

We care how life goes, how things happen.

We spend time discussing how to discuss important things with each other.
Broken backs, herniated discs, TBI, hearing loss, insecurities, triggers, pet peeves.
You know, the sexy things ?
We know how we handle arguments, thankfully I can’t even think of a few if any that have occurred.

Will I lose a man I’ve planned a life with?
I don’t know but I’ll be ok.
Not sane for awhile but ok.
And then I’ll be open to love again.

I’m better for having loved, been loved and lost it all, than never having spent time with Him.

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