June 28, 2021

12 Sexy Things that…aren’t Sexy.

Sex can be intimate, genuine, spontaneous, not about thrill, which crumbles when it runs into boredom, but about fiery affection. I write a little about that kind of love-making in my book.

So: What’s not as sexy as most people seem to think it is?

With thanks to Reddit, the below comes via here. Comments in italics are mine.

“It is kind of crazy to think that most romantic comedies would be stalker horror films if you just took out the last 15 minutes where everything gets resolved and swapped out the soundtrack.”

  1. Edible underwear. Just no.
  2. Food play. That chocolate sauce may seem like a good idea but really it’s just messy.
  3. Sex on the beach. (Not the drink.) Mosquitoes, sand.
  4. Ads on porn websites
  5. Stalking. And when I say this, I mean how in movies the love interest of a main character kind of pursues them in a really weird way but it’s portrayed as “so sweet!”Two more good comments on this one: “The Notebook. He invades a fun date and threatens to kill himself if she doesn’t go out with him. That’s some dark shit in rl that everyone swoons over in the movie.””Lots of romance movies and especially romcoms are basically like porn for relationships. The women are always hot, and (most of the time) the men are too, and it’s about fulfilling a fantasy, which is all well and good, but they are not and should never be held up as what is real or ought to be real about sex/relationships.”
  6. Really loud, obnoxious moaning in porn. Call me weird, but I enjoy sensual, relatively realistic porn (it also helps that this type of porn is usually produced ethically, and caters to women as well as men). To this, I would add: porn generally. Most of it is…yikes. Some of it, made on a human level, is sweet and wholesome is a turn-on!
  7. Playing hard to get. I will give up. Nothing says “I have no idea how to set healthy boundaries” like sending rejection signals and expecting them to be ignored.
    That’s the crazy part about it. I’m all for respecting boundaries. Nothing weirder than “you didn’t even try harder”. That’s harassment…AMEN. Last guy I was talking to wasn’t clear with his intentions, and then came back saying “I was just being coy!” and “damn it, I blew it.” And I was like, “my love language is English and I took you at your word. No one has time for your games.
  8. Dirty talk is SUPER cringe to me if done in the wrong way. It’s very easy to try too hard and make it awkward.
  9. Inflated butts. They just look swollen.
  10. The pictures of their junk some guys send to women.
  11. Duck face.
  12. Still haven’t seen anyone mention loud trucks. The guys with loud trucks sure think it’s sexy. I’ve not met a woman that actually finds a truck’s loud exhaust sexy though.

What would you add? 


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