This post is Grassroots, meaning a reader posted it directly. If you see an issue with it, contact an editor.
If you’d like to post a Grassroots post, click here!

June 29, 2021

4 Questions I Ask Myself To Make Sure I Get the Space I Need This Summer

In the work I do, I get the honor of talking to a lot of women all around the world. Not just talking about the weather or the latest celebrity news, but meaningful conversation where the masks of perfectionism and being strong as steel drop, and hearts open to speak truth about what’s really going on under the surface.

Here’s what I’ve been hearing as I’ve been contemplating what we need as we head into the summer months this year.

What I’ve noticed in the voices and faces of women is this:

We are tired. On many levels – mind, body, heart and spirit.

We need more than a vacation or a couple of weekends away.

We need space.

Space to recover, reset, replenish and renew our tired minds, bodies, hearts and spirit.

I use the word space very intentionally instead of the word time, because while we often say things like “I need to find more time to…” or “I need to make more time to…” or “When I have free time I am going to…” more time can’t give us what we  need. In fact, focusing on time is part of what keeps us stuck in burnout, overwhelm and never having enough time to recover and replenish. Or do the things that fill us up at deeper levels than a boost of self-care.

Consider this:

If you are waiting to find the time, you will never find the time. Time is finite. You can’t make time – there is no time kitchen. And you can’t find more time – time is not lost.

What we need is not more time. It’s what we think time will give us. Which is the feeling of spaciousness and the reality of having space for what matters to us, including our own health, wellbeing and just plain every day joy.

What we need – and desire – is the ‘space’ to take care of the demands of our current lives AND feed the desires and projects still coming into form AND nourish our hearts and souls and bodies with things that may not be ‘productive’ or ‘profitable’ but that sustain us in profound ways.

But what does that really mean and how do you make that practical?

In the decade of research I did for my book Overwhelmed and Over It, which illuminates the roots of the burnout, self-sacrifice and unhealthy ways we work and live, I found this:

If you don’t claim and create the space you need, no one will give it to you.

So many people just don’t know what they need. They are so busy just living and working, trying to keep up, that they can’t articulate what they need.

If you don’t know what you need, you cannot make choices that make it possible to receive it.

And if you don’t name and claim the space, you will likely keep giving away your time and space to everyone and everything else, in ways that don’t actually nourish, support and replenish you.

Now let’s make this practical.

Here’s where our ‘super power’ to create space comes in.

This summer I invite you to name and claim the space you desire and need for the different realms of your life.

And then make choices and changes that create a reality in which you receive the space you need. Even if it stretches you out of your comfort zone or other people don’t like it.

What follows below are 4 inquiries to help you get clear about the space you desire this summer. You can use these questions any time of the year of course. And at this mid-year point, before we head into the second half of the year, I always take a pause to ask these inquiries. And then I embrace my power to create a supportive reality by making choices that align with the space I desire and need.

Ask yourself these questions, journal them out – considering the time span of this summer:

  1. What do I desire more space for in my relationships?
  2. What do I desire more space for with my body?
  3. What do I desire more space for in my work?
  4. What do I desire more space for just for myself?

Then take what you learn about what you desire, and dare to make choices that create that reality.

Dare to be an advocate for yourself.

For more support and inspiration, including a guided visualization through these four inquiries, tune into the Feminine Power Time Podcast episode #159: POWER PAUSE: 4 inquiries to Create Space for What Matters to You This Next Half of the Year.

To learn more about the practice of creating space and working with time differently, check out the section called Liberate Your Time in the Overwhelmed and Over It book.

Leave a Thoughtful Comment

Read 0 comments and reply

Top Contributors Latest

Christine Arylo  |  Contribution: 1,075