Relationships can be hard sometimes, including even the healthiest and near-perfect ones.
Every relationship has its ups and downs, and that’s perfectly normal. As long as there is a healthy balance in our relationships, and there is a strong understanding between us and our partners, overcoming every rough patch is possible.
But sometimes, one partner tends to put in more effort than the other one, and that can lead to an imbalance in the equation. In order to have a truly happy and healthy relationship, it is important for both partners to put in equal efforts.
For example, if one partner is constantly initiating intimacy in the relationship and the other partner isn’t, they will gradually start to feel unwanted and undesirable. If one partner is always planning dates and trying to make sure that the spark is still there in the relationship, and the other person isn’t, it can quickly lead to friction.
Knowing and understanding the signs that point to an imbalance in the relationship can help both partners buck up and do their part in making sure that their bond remains happy and stable.
Here are five signs a relationship might be going off-kilter:
1. Having to work extra hard to get appreciation and acknowledgement.
A healthy relationship is always based on mutual respect, acknowledgement, and appreciation. But when we see that we are having to work extra hard to get the acknowledgement that we deserve from our partner, it might be a red flag. All the effort we are putting into the relationship—we are doing it because we want the relationship to last, not for some ulterior motive.
So when our partner behaves as if our selfless efforts are not that big of a deal, it can really hurt. I remember in one of my previous relationships, I used to acknowledge and appreciate every little thing my partner did for me, but when I went out of my way to make him happy, he couldn’t care less. It was as if I was supposed to do all that, just because I loved him.
If mutual acknowledgement and appreciation are absent, maybe it’s time to have a serious conversation about this changing dynamic, before it destroys the relationship for good.
2. Feeling increasingly unsure and concerned about the relationship.
The moment we start feeling apprehensive and uncertain about our relationship and its future, it’s a sign that all is not well in paradise. A constant feeling of anxiety seems to haunt us, and it seems like our gut instinct is constantly trying to tell us that something is wrong.
One of the best ways to ascertain whether we are in a healthy relationship or not is by noticing how we feel physically when we are with our partner. Do we overreact to the simplest of things? Are we getting emotionally triggered at things that never affected us before? Does it feel like something is always missing, but we can’t just put a finger on it?
All these are strong signs of anxiety that might point to the fact that we are investing too much time and energy in someone who doesn’t deserve our love and efforts.
3. Being the only one who makes all the compromises and sacrifices.
Compromises and sacrifices are part and parcel of being in a stable and healthy relationship, but only if they are mutual. It’s a huge red flag when only one partner is making all the compromises and adjustments, and the other partner is not. At all.
Both of our feelings are equally important. Both of our time is equally important. So why is it that we always need to work around their schedule, or make adjustments to make things easier for them? Why should one partner keep on sacrificing their needs and happiness just because the other person is incapable of putting in even a tiny smidge of effort?
It’s important for both partners to understand each other and make necessary compromises and sacrifices when needed. There’s no point being in a committed relationship with someone who only cares about their own problems and expects the world to revolve around them.
4. Overanalyzing and overthinking every little thing.
The occasional overthinking and overanalyzing are fine when it comes to our relationships, but if it becomes a permanent thing, then it’s a cause for concern. Having trust and faith in a relationship are two of the most important things when it comes to sustaining it in the long run.
Obsessing and constantly thinking about past conversations that were happier in nature signals an imbalance in the relationship. Missing the days when the relationship was in a happier and more fulfilling stage, and going through old, romantic messages and wondering what went wrong, can feel devastating.
5. Absence of mutual support and understanding.
One of the biggest signs that the relationship is going off-kilter is when our partner can rely on us anytime and anywhere, but when the tables turn and it’s their turn to support us, they are nowhere to be found. No matter how much we stand by them in their tough times, we can never seem to rely on them when we go through something bad.
Are they there when we need a shoulder to cry on? Do they care enough to lend a compassionate ear when we just need someone to listen to our pain and troubles? If we get caught in a sticky situation, will they leave everything behind and rush to our aid?
The honest answers to these questions will clear up a lot of things about the kind of relationship we are really in.
In a relationship, both partners matter equally. Both of their needs, wants, desires, and feelings matter equally. Having an open and transparent conversation about all this might help clear up a lot of things. If both of us are on the same page, acknowledging our mistakes and promising to work on them, then there is still hope for a happy ending.
If not, then maybe it’s time to let go of the relationship that is not giving us the respect and love we truly deserve.