I am what the LGBTQIA+ community often refers to as a Baby Queer or Baby Gay.
A Baby Queer is someone who is new to the LGBTQIA+ community. They aren’t necessarily young in age (though they often are) but are new in coming out publicly and/or claiming their identities.
The older and/or wiser members of the community are often referred to as Elder Queers or Elder Gays, which is something that has always absolutely delighted me. The term Elder Gay makes me think of Gandalf leading the hobbits back to Middle-earth after their treacherous journey to Mordor. A soul-warming analogy.
I came out to my family and wider community as bisexual last year on National Coming Out Day (October 11), and the response from those in my circle of love has been nothing shy of absolutely amazing.
Having been a loud and unashamed advocate for LGBTQIA+ rights my entire life, it didn’t come as any surprise to my family when I told them that I am bisexual. My Dad even said as much when he responded to my coming out email, haha!
I didn’t have a close LGBTQIA+ community in my own life already, so coming out was quite scary for me.
I didn’t have an Elder Gay to guide me and never had someone to confide in. The few times that I had tried to talk to friends about my attraction to other girls in my teens had been met with either hostility or ambivalence, both of which stung.
Therefore, one of the most amazing things for me as a Baby Queer has been the incredible community I have found. The LGBTQIA+ community is huge, strong, and incredibly loving. Sure, there are exclusionists who argue that bisexual people should “choose a side” or that LGBT is the full acronym, but they are definitely the minority.
For every one of those people who would deny a person their identity, there are another 100 people with pitchforks fighting for the oppressed.
Take today for example. Today I discovered Lil Nas X is gay. I have heard his music many times online, but I didn’t really know who he was, and I definitely didn’t know that he is gay. Now every time I hear his songs—which are right up my hedonistic, slightly devilish alley—I instantly feel a little bit more connected to my people.
Being openly represented by queer people in the media is so essential. It makes us feel valid, safe, and a little bit stronger.
>> I felt safer when I watched Brooklyn Nine-Nine and Rosa come out to her family with the support of Jake and her colleagues.
>> I feel valid when I see Blessing Manifesting, one of my favorite Facebook pages, posting about her recent adventures with her wife.
>> I feel strong and powerful in my sexuality every time I hear or see Montero (Call Me By Your Name) by Lil Nas X.
Each of these experiences is so valuable to a Baby Queer.
Feeling represented, feeling safe, and feeling strong and powerful in who you are because of the fearless representation of those older, wiser members of the LGBTQIA+ community is amazing and makes being bisexual so much more wonderful, as it should be.