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August 28, 2021

Neutral Awareness: Shake Hands with your Fears without feeling Scared.

 

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Change is always happening. Growth never stops.

But somehow, with each change and each step of growth, there’s this feeling of wanting to stop, of being fearful, of feeling so blocked that we can’t move forward.

Personally, I’ve had many changes in the last few years, and through these changing tides, my own awareness practice has shown me that human experience is several puzzle pieces coming together.

On my daily contemplative dog walks and through other meditative practices, I keep sensing a bigger picture of this human incarnation that I once could only imagine.

Through visions and energetic experiences, I feel these themes emerge and specific guidance come through, a guidance that connects everything I’ve ever felt, seen, experienced, and sensed my whole present life.

There’s a sense of relief within my being that everything isn’t random, although it’s hard to explain how it’s not. I apologize to the folks who hung out with me in the last few years and had to listen to my long rambling stories where I feature a smattering of random events in my attempt to paint a picture of how these puzzle pieces all fit.

Lately, the need to explain this situation has faded, as I trust the sense of calm that’s permeating within me. I can sense the fear dissipating on a daily basis. The sense that everything is in the right order is becoming secured in my being.

I credit these experiences to my meditation practice.

I credit these experiences to being able to sit for hours in discomfort and not letting the resistance lead to me choices and states of mind I’d later regret.

There is magic in these new perceptions and sensory gifts, filling the emptiness inside of me. Those gifts are created through meditation, but I can feel that I’m not importing this magic.

I’m not putting the puzzle pieces together. My ego has gotten out of the way, and there’s simply space for these events to occur. My being that was once occupied by fear, worry, and doubt is being replaced by experiences of oneness, love, and infinite potential.

Sometimes I resist this new magic coming in. Sometimes I would say at least a few times a day that the resistance is present. Somehow there’s always some pressure on the brakes when change is at play, even when you know that change is good. Even when it’s the miracle you’ve prayed for.

So, we can see that we aren’t creating magic, and we aren’t creating the resistance. These are just the forces regularly at work within us and around us. We do need to relate to them though, but we don’t need to believe that they come from us.

You are not the block; the resistance is. So let the resistance come and go, because it is temporary, like everything else.

Neutral awareness is our best ally when resistance is at play.

What feeds the resistance is making up a lot of stories with the mind and giving meaning and opinion to everything we’re feeling and experiencing.

Thinking about everything we’re experiencing is how we give resistance more fuel and power. We want to deactivate resistance, not feed it reasons to amp up.

Neutral awareness looks like acknowledging that I have this feeling and I have this thought, and this is simply what is occurring right now.

Neutral awareness doesn’t add blame or description. It just objectively sees what’s occurring and knows it will pass, and then something else will happen.

Neutral awareness is noticing what’s happening but not getting involved.

If we get involved with every thought or feeling we have during the day, we will be absolutely exhausted and worn-out, and of course many people already are.

I see the resistance in my being all the time, and I’m aware that it’s an automatic reflex triggered when change is afoot, and I also know if I become engaged with too much, resistance will become a hindrance to the evolutionary process occurring within me.

By being committed to neutral awareness, it’s possible to relax, surrender, and let the resistance go. This doesn’t come naturally, but with some focus and dedication, it’s possible, and it brings much more beneficial results then fighting with myself and the circumstances around me.

The discomfort that the resistance was trying to protect me from is still felt; it doesn’t just go away.

I might cry, shake, twitch, or feel angry, sad, and frustrated. Then the tense moment passes, and I feel purer.

I have come to see that the resistance isn’t bad. It’s normal, natural, and organic. Just like weeds or bugs in the garden. They aren’t bad, but they do prevent the vegetables from growing, so you need to use skillful means to rid them from the area you where you want to be productive. This is the same with resistance. It isn’t your enemy, but it does need to be skillfully dealt with.

When I see the resistance, I know I need to pull out all my meditation tools. I always start with compassion—compassion with myself because I’m having an experience that is uncomfortable. And then I shift to radical honesty and acceptance. I hold myself accountable and look straight in the eye at what hurts or the tension I’m craving to avoid.

If I need to do this process in nature, while moving, in the bath, or while lying down, then I do whatever I need to help the process because resistance is strong.

Being aware that resistance is a natural by-product of my changing self is extremely helpful to my mental health.

And I know I still have a long way in this process.

I am so inspired by the amount of people committed to doing their personal work for the benefit of their own journey and the collective as a whole.

Over and over again, people who do take the time to focus on their internal resistance and make room for it to be released report noticing an undeniable shift that occurs in their inner being.

Where there once was a pain or a sense of a block, space is created, and a visceral sense of bliss and/or freedom is experienced.

People notice that after the resistance or blocks clear up, new manifestations often take place in their lives, as the outside world starts to reflect the new alignment now allowed to flow within them.

This whole process of being aware of resistance, not engaging with it, and letting the newness flow into you feels real and exciting, not an experience that can be denied or ignored.

Even though there are moments that are painful along the way, somehow, people feel encouraged to skillfully move through resistance and commit to newness and change.

I know you have resistance in you, and I know change is also coming for you; it is coming for all of us each and every day.

Accepting the resistance in a blameless way can bring more ease to the change process, and I know the changes within you are just what the world needs right now.

So, keep going. You got this.

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