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I remember myself at the age of 15, sitting in the hospital with thyroid cancer and seeing other patients who were dying.
I remember how sad it was to witness people in their 40s, 50s, 60s, even 70s who realized they lived their whole life just to make money, instead of finding their passion and creating a lifestyle career.
I remember seeing people die, either alone or in a relationship in which they settled, instead of genuinely falling in love with themselves or living a life that was true to themselves.
Experiencing this from a young age, I began to see some people beat cancer or other severe illnesses in miraculous ways, and others could not. Then I noticed a common denominator between the people who had the miracle stories: they aligned themselves with love.
My favorite chapter in my third book, “An Uncompromised Life,” is Chapter 11, “Falling in Love,” the one I return to most.
It allowed the magic of healing my life, from unimaginable pain, to occur so quickly. I experienced unexplainable trauma thought the heartbreak of choosing to let your child go, even though western medical doctors told me it wouldn’t be possible to become pregnant and to unlock myself from an unhealthy relationship where I loved someone so deeply but it simply wasn’t working. These heartbreaking decisions and events occurred within a few short months of each other.
Many times, such decisions can take people years, decades, or a lifetime to heal. Sometimes even worse, people stay trapped in decisions that make them unhappy because they believe there is no other option.
Eventually, when the pain of past decisions becomes so much and we become afraid to face the choices we have made in our lives, we slowly end up dying while our body continues to live. After all, we’ve made it a habit to disconnect from our hearts because we’ve convinced ourselves that the things we love to do in life do not matter.
My favorite quote from this book is, “to create a life that is lasting, sustainable, fulfilling, rewarding, and just simply over the top so you fall in love over and over and over again, requires honesty, commitment, effort, communication, and the willingness to allow your human walls down and show the raw, vulnerable, and authentic soul that truly exists inside of you.”
It must become a habit that even in your moments of darkness, you believe that your greatest love story, a love for life that you have not yet experienced, is still possible for you.
When you create this habit of aligning your thoughts and actions to live a sustainable life that’s authentic to who you are, then if, for whatever reason, a pandemic, virus, cancer, or any illness arises, you already have a habit of falling in love with life no matter what the weather is like.
Now, you may be asking, “What are the practical things that I can do to heal and begin to connect with love, instead of following the status quo?”
I’ve learned that the questions we are asked empower us to begin thinking of a life we didn’t know was possible.
When I’ve been asked powerful questions, I started learning great things, like the fact that, someday, I will adopt my daughter, Ella, after living through a painful story.
So here are some powerful questions for you to ponder, reflect on, and begin to act on, to transform your way of thinking, so you can see that you are already living your greatest love story; you just forgot it was happening in front of your eyes.
1. Look at the small details of your life that you take for granted. How can you start to fall in love with them?
For example, do you hate your alarm clock and don’t want to wake up to live the life you’ve created? Or are you upset that your dream state is being disturbed?
You can start to fall in love with your alarm clock by changing the tone.
If you have vivid dreams that you want to remember, you can put a journal next to your bed to write them down on paper.
Another example would be finding gratitude in the emotional support you receive in life, finding alternative ways to feel aligned with the world around you, and embracing the digital world beyond your physical location.
You can actively be grateful for the water you drink, the clothes you get to wear, yoga, and the small details that we often overlook and forget to appreciate. When we do this, we allow ourselves to see that the world is always offering us opportunities and miracles to experience love. We’ve simply forgotten to notice them.
2. How can you find love in moments of pain and discomfort, and when things are not going as planned?
Many times, we have horrible self-talk. You’d be surprised how often you say: “I feel bad. I have a headache. This part of my body hurts. This didn’t go as planned.”
Instead, what if we shifted this talk to: “My body is healing. My body feels tender today. I’m excited for an unplanned adventure. Clearly, a sacred journey is unfolding.”
These small changes in thought and language can massively transform our lives, get us closer to genuine love, and heal ourselves through challenging times.
3. What if every perceived painful experience was the universe allowing you to create a love story?
You can begin to create stories to align yourself with love, see that there is beauty in pain, and that through discomfort, we keep our hearts open to experience greater compassion, depth, and connection with ourselves and the world around us.
When we take control of our story, magic occurs. Begin to say, “What is the best-case scenario this pain can bring into my life?”
Instead of focusing on the pain and trauma, begin to focus on what it can bring you. Maybe it will lead you to an awakening. Maybe it can give you a deeper sense of humanity to understand the pain someone must be suffering from. Maybe it can help you to accept your life journey and love all of yourself and your experiences.
When you become empowered in healing the stories you tell yourself, you heal your body, you heal your heartbreak, and most importantly, you’ll fall madly in love with this magnificent life that you chose to cocreate and be present in.
You just have to remember that you can have your cake, sprinkle magical stardust on it, and eat it too—because you are deserving and worthy of a whole, healed fairy-tale life.