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This morning, when I was looking in the mirror to get ready for my day, I received a memory.
I finally recognized that the way I had been showing up for myself and others had been tainted energetically and emotionally by my feelings and my need to be heard and validated.
Not being heard as a child when I tried to tell people what was happening to me, and not having my experiences validated by adults in my life, led to needing some savior to come and rescue me from my situation.
I carried this baggage with me all my life and, subsequently, was attracting relationships with people who were immature and liked to be looked at as heroes. This might have stemmed from their own childhood experience. It’s possible they may have been living in the shadow of a sibling the family saw as the proverbial “golden child” and they did not receive healthy attention and praise from their parents.
I felt like this energy I was carrying of needing to be heard and validated was easily picked out by others. I felt like a true adult would never want to be in relationship with an adult child who is full of neediness and attention-seeking. This prevented me for a long time from having certain relationships.
Validating myself and hearing myself talk about my experiences finally gave me a sense of being understood, respected, and loved. This new feeling changed how I was showing up for myself and others.
But also, for this new feeling to truly solidify in my energy, I had to connect with my subconscious. I had to pinpoint the origin of my feelings and memories and then realize that this was no longer me. Then, I replaced my old feelings with new, healthy feelings that now serve me better as an adult.
I am finally letting go of victimhood and am embracing my full power as the adult I was always meant to be, and this will allow me to fully live the life I was always meant to live.