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September 17, 2021

Saying Farewell to Memories that no Longer Serve Me.

 

 

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While standing in my living room, leaning against the wall, I looked through the window and was mesmerized by the summer rain.

It seemed so peaceful outside the window. The flowers and trees were coming alive just before my eyes; every plant stood a little taller and shined a little brighter. Rain does wonders to nature, just like tears to the body, washing off the old energy while renewing with the new one.

For the first time in a long time, I feel like I’m breathing. The heaviness is gone—I have come up for some fresh air, but this time is different. This time it feels like I’ll be staying above the surface. And that has not happened in a long time.

I turned my head to the right, and my eyes caught a glimpse of the fridge standing in the kitchen. I have around 40 pictures hanging on it—a business card with my name and the title “Head of Operations.” These are outdated memories—memories that don’t serve me anymore, reminders of the dreams that have been chased and achieved.

Now there are new dreams that I’m running after these days. I have not touched or rearranged these memories in over eight years. Silly, isn’t it? Some of those memories feel like they’re from a different lifetime.

Some of the people in the pictures have drifted away. We don’t talk anymore, not like we used to. Somewhere along the way of life, we broke and shattered. But it wasn’t a loud break—it started slowly and gradually. By the time we noticed that we were miles away, we were both already gone. Our lives simply took off in different trajectories, and we have not been able to bring them back together ever since.

And to be completely honest, I don’t know if we ever really tried hard enough to continue being in each other’s journeys.

Life is complicated and easy and beautiful and ugly all at the same time. But there is no one that you need to show up for but yourself. We will learn from our mistakes, and sometimes we won’t.

Not all fairy tales have a happy ending. Some of those mistakes could never be fixed, but I hope you have learned to make peace and forgive yourself for them. You did the best you could with all the knowledge you had at the time.

You weren’t as wise back then as you are today, and without those experiences, you would not have become the absolutely extraordinary person you are today.

~

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