October 25, 2021

My Favourite little Healing Hack to help us Own Our Sh*t.

It took me a long while to reach awareness of the “R.P.L.” method.

Eventually, I realised that things that challenge us in this human experience can most likely be addressed by one of the following: “reflection,” “projection,” or “lesson.”

The ability to surrender to these happenings becomes a much easier transition to inner wisdom and peace, only if we can be open and master the gifts they bring us.

The gifts are perceptible if we choose to see the blessing in these human experiences. Because if we choose to face our demons rather than ignore them, they eventually turn to nothing more than shapes in the smoke—disappearing as quickly as they appear—no longer demons, but simply moments of awareness. This involves being honest with ourselves and that takes strength, which in turn cracks the lie into truth.

If we see obstacles, people, or situations that irritate, anger, or annoy us, from a place of detachment—removing the personal feelings and ego to see it objectively—it can be the catalyst to deep, internal change and personal freedom.

I thank every trigger or raw, unhealed emotion that surfaces for me. This is where I grow, this is where I evolve, and this is where I learn how to get to my highest potential. I face it with a clear, undiluted message to myself, honouring just how far I’ve come.

We all have these darker energies on the flip side of our light, we cannot have one without the other, and over time, if we do not step into the shadows, do the work, and clear out the muck in our mental and emotional blocked drains, then our light will become more strained and fractured.

Real happiness will elude us, and our patterns will repeat to the same sorrowful tune and extended remix of “Why me,” featuring, “It’s not fair.” Resistance is futile—not only will we, the holder of these low energies, suffer, but others around us will also suffer. That’s the “b” side: “Suffering,” featuring, “Denial.” No amount of turning the record over helps.

No matter how much you bleat about it to others, apologise over and over again for repeated bad choices or behaviours, we are merely entrenching more pain and discord toward ourselves and those around us. So, we must be brave, go forward, and seek personal freedom—change the record and dance to a new beat.

Here is R.P.L. explained:

These are now my favourite little healing hacks to compliment our expansion process on a daily basis.


Reflecting gives us the chance to unravel the stories we’ve been told to believe.

Imagine looking into a mirror and seeing a person you don’t recognise, but being told that it’s you. How would you feel? Angry, annoyed, upset? This is your trigger moment. Triggers are our guides. Recognising them allows us to change the script. Sit with it and feel it. It’s the parts of our unhealed self being reflected back at us. It’s our chance to see the good, the bad, and the ugly within.

Seeing something in someone else, which you may not want to see in yourself, isn’t easy to admit, but healing isn’t easy, otherwise everyone would be doing it, and we’d live in an idyllic, blissful, utopian existence. Until the rest of the world catches up, just concentrate on yourself and stay open—be aware of what a reflection is trying to teach you.

Choose to see yourself in truth and own your sh*t. It’s just a way of taking responsibility for yourself. Recognising reflections helps us become kinder, softer, and more compassionate human beings. For I am you and you are me; what I see in you I must see in myself, because there is no separation, we are all one. Everything is connected.

For example, if someone in your life is unkind and this disrupts you internally, you are being shown there is unkindness in yourself somewhere. There’s no need to pull yourself over hot coals or throw yourself on the floor sobbing that you are a terrible human being. Stay detached, look for areas within yourself where this might be reflecting, and ask yourself: where is there unkindness? Is it in your words, habits, actions to others, self-talk, self-care, or your commitment to loving yourself? It’s personal to each of us.

Find where the dominoes begin to topple and from that point begin to work back, go deeper, write it down, examine the feeling, feel the feeling, and allow it to be there, but keep questioning, where does this come from? Unravel it. This is just another key to growth you never knew you had until now. It’s there to help you, not undermine you—it’s there to be of use, so use it to your benefit.

This is about empowerment of the self, and yes it might be painful, confusing, or frustrating, but just stay with it and allow yourself to watch how many of the same patterns cross your path, creating the same reactions within you. Once you bring that process into your awareness you can investigate your deeper self, finding new answers, and new ways of being.

Habits can be formed by emotion, so if you change your emotional responses, life will begin to take a different turn. Insights, epiphanies, and all sorts of wonder can come from this sort of self-inquiry. That’s the gift.


When acknowledged, projection is a way to master the internal reactor. It can teach us ways of responding with emotional intelligence rather than dramatically overreacting or lashing out.

We can react negatively in situations time and time again, and wonder why we find ourselves in a painful cycle, bemused, indignant, and blaming others—unaware we are in essence causing our own suffering. When something inside of us is unhealed, ignored, unloved, or repressed, it will eventually manifest its way into our reality via projection.

When something’s too painful for us to deal with, it gets repressed or suppressed, only for us to then project the subconscious pain onto something or someone else—much like a temporary release valve. The body needs an outlet, as bottled up emotions cause damage. (Grief is a big player in projection.) Blaming someone else, or believing that it’s not our problem, is an easy get out clause of the human condition—like opening the valve for it all to pour out. Projection shows us where maybe, just maybe it is our problem.

We will push and push against people, projecting our pain and focus outward onto others, and not ever question it. The pattern will be there, repeating like a scratched record until they leave us, give up, or break down, and when they do, we sit in this twisted glory of satisfaction, as if it’s their fault.

We must own our actions. No one is ever responsible for how we feel as an adult. Recognising a projection takeover is an act of self-care and self-love.

Acknowledge you are reacting instead of responding, catch the drama and overwhelming emotional states or urges, and own yourself. See where you are projecting unhelpful or unhealthy emotions—it’s your teacher, not your enemy. Its okay to feel it—begin to recognise it, take some time out, recluse, examine, journal, whatever works for you, and be proud of yourself that you recognised it. Be really f*cking proud of yourself!

These are the steps to self-awareness.

Peeling back the damaged layers of the past and making the unconscious conscious equals one beautiful gift. Once it’s conscious, it begins to lose its power over you, allowing you to get to know and love yourself that little bit deeper.


Lessons are quite simply everywhere, absolutely everywhere, you just have to be open to receiving them. Allow yourself permission to learn from things rather than being hurt, resentful, bitter, or upset. If you do feel any negative emotions, go back to the event and try a reflection or projection exercise, because that’s where the lesson sits.

The lesson is the learning, and the learning is in the teaching. By personal education you grow and evolve.

Teach yourself to know yourself by recognising if you are reflecting or projecting in certain areas, begin to watch for the pattern, and when you are aware of the pattern, there is the lesson—the gift.

The old stories fall away as you reclaim your power to be exactly who you are meant to be—it just takes practice, commitment, and discipline. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, but on the other side of it all is an abundance of bliss, inner peace, and joy—it’s there deep within you, just waiting for you, but you need to clear the way for it all to emerge.

You need to do the work, open yourself up, and trust all that comes is for your highest good. It will all be worth it, I promise.

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