November 15, 2021

How to Dance to the Beat of your Own Tune & Be your True Self.


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If we are in alignment with the needs of each of our energy bodies—mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual (including the soul)—we maximise our potential to access our healing capacity and the knowledge of our higher self—that part of us that knows who we are when we are aligned and authentic.

We can access wisdom from the collective consciousness now, historically, and maybe even from the future.

Einstein’s theory of relativity lets us consider this concept of all time being relative, and quantum theories suggest all time frames exist now. Einstein considered something he termed “spooky” action where something from the apparent future could impact today—retrocausality. For example, tomorrow’s lunch could cause an upset stomach today.

Whilst this may all feel mind-blowing, ultimately, belief is a choice; we find frameworks that make sense to us about the world, the self, and others, and if we choose to believe these theories about time, then we already exist as our best selves but also as our worst.

The reality that you truly want for you is happening now. It is the energetic vibration of your body that determines which version of you you will access. It’s like looking at a line of photographic negatives or a film strip. One frame happens before the next and the one after that, but actually, they all exist now.

When we have intention, our energy attracts things to support that intention and jumps us to the frame where that intention is manifested. We are equal to what we think. Right now, if we choose to reminisce on what we perceive as the past, the memories are easier to access if we are in the same frame of mind.

If we feel positive now, we have positive recall. If we feel negative now, we connect more with negative memories. Our energetic vibration can change where we go. In psychology, this is known by terms such as “state dependent memory” or “negative or positive bias.”

So why does any of this even matter?

As I’ve said before, and therefore as I’m saying now, if you don’t beat to the tune of your own drum, you will enter realities, set intentions, manifest change that doesn’t even match with what you want yourself. This is why we often hear people saying I would be happy if “this” or “that” happened and when they have “this” or “that,” nothing changes in their mood state.

In therapy, I often ask a question of, “Whose voice is that?” as clients tell me the “shoulds” and “musts” that they hold for themselves. Maybe a parental message, maybe a societal one, or something that comes from a perception following a traumatic incident or loss. We then strip back the layers of other people’s “stuff” and misperception to find the true image of self without all that distraction. Once we have this clarity, the creation of new realities becomes far more simple.

So, how do you become more self-aware and work out if the voices you hear within are your own and not echoes of other key figures in your life, views of the media, or society as a whole?

The answer is something called “self-attunement.”

Tuning into the self is like accessing the frequency of a radio station. Is there additional white noise that’s not a part of your station or are you hearing the music you want loud and clear? If you have had a difficult early start to life with fear and uncertainty, the white noise of your self station is going to be loud. You may need someone else to be alongside you while you tolerate the noise for a while, until you can adjust your dial to your true frequency.

So what steps can you take to peel back these layers around true self? You can take a stand of curiosity and self-inquiry. You can pause and be still.

If we look in a turbulent ocean, the self is not reflected back, but a still lake holds the image. Whatever you see reflected back, whatever emerges at the surface, greet it with nonjudgement and nonattachment. Open your heart to acceptance. What is there is simply there; thoughts that come up about it are simply thoughts. They don’t define you.

Be excited about what may unfold. You can even do this exercise by a lake or in a mirror. Simply see yourself.

Commit to embracing and accessing compassion for anything emerging that you consider negative. This is your ego. It is there to seemingly protect you, but it also blocks a heart-based connection to the true you. Any feelings of hatred, jealousy, greed, rage are all valid. We need to view our light and dark sides at either end of the seesaw, taking the position of the fulcrum, not judging or adding weight to either end. Staying at that centre, noticing but not participating. To recognise our shadow side, we need to be brave enough to be vulnerable.

Ask yourself: what am I suppressing? What is my thinking distorting? What am I doing that aligns with my core values in life? What am I doing that takes me away from these? Where is my thinking distorted? What beliefs limit me? What will happen if my beliefs shift? What will happen if they don’t? Who do I keep myself small around? Who am I myself with? What can I forgive in others and myself? What can I let go of…even if I think I don’t know how?

Asking these questions creates space for curiosity, which brings with it creativity. What’s your vision for you and how you want to be? What’s your passion? What’s your purpose?

It is through self-inquiry that we learn the essence of the soul. We learn to accept the darkness and have faith the light can co-exist. For one to be recognised, the other must be seen. That sense of light at our very core guides each energy body back to the shore of true self, away from the waves created by other vessels in the sea of life. 

Through this practice, we can wash away the sands of time in order to align with the best version of self that already exists right now. 


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