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November 9, 2021

Why we constantly feel we are on probation

Photo by Joshua Abner on Pexels.

The moment we are born, we are on probation.

“Oh, my daughter can already walk.” “Oh, my son is already so smart.”

In our head, we start comparing and questioning if our children will be also smart and become successful. We enter school and it’s all about the grades we have. Good grades, things are on track. If not, we are not smart enough. This continues all the way into university. Then we think, we can take a deep breath. We finally made it only to realize that the rat race continues as being successful in a job is different.

What we are truly after is a good feeling, this inner sense of peace. Yes, we need to pay our bills and be financially comfortable but our constant thriving is towards feeling worthy, loved, seen, and heard. Some get that through a relationship, others by buying a car or seeking a position of authority. Its an illusion. Our brain does not work this way. When you going after a certain title, your brain associates a good feeling with that achievement but it never lasts long and so you go after the next. That’s why Instagram and Facebook are so powerful. These social media platforms create habits that cater to our emotional needs. No one needs to check his account 10 times a day, but it feels good.

But no matter what we do, we never arrive. Even those who have too much money to spend, need to achieve more. Its inherent in us, because we are driven by emotions. They control us, not the other way around. Stop putting yourself on probation. You have nowhere to go, nothing to prove, nothing to achieve. We are worthy just by being ourselves. No title, car or position will help you to find inner peace. Inner peace can only come from inside. You can do yoga every day but if you don’t work on your mindset, no yoga exercise will keep you calm.

We all know these people, who just radiate inner peace, who seems to have it all. We say: “Its easy for them to talk about inner peace because they have achieved everything.” But Oprah Winfrey didn’t start off by having it all – quiet the opposite is true. She grew up poor, experienced sexual abuse but nevertheless was able to pursue her career in journalism and the rest is history.

People are driven by missions not career goals. They push beyond what is possible not because of a pay check. When you let go of your goals only to achieve to be loved, heard or seen, and truly focus on your own, unique why, you will discover yourself, what lies behind your ego. This is when your inner emptiness and void is being filled with a deep sense of fulfillment. Imagine, that feeling of having finally arrived, is something you feel every day.

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