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Navigating the holidays, after a breakup can be pretty painful and make you want to avoid the whole season altogether.
I have been there.
Even if you are single long after a breakup, this time of year can bring up a lot of emotions and expectations of what the holidays are “supposed” to look like. It can feel like everyone is supposed to have a date for every party or be in a relationship in order to make it joyous. We often succumb to these expectations from others, and even ourselves, and end up disappointed.
First and foremost, can we normalize being single around the holidays and let that be okay?
Okay, now that that is cleared up, instead of burying yourself under the covers waiting for January 1st to emerge (no judgement here if you decide to do this), use this time as an opportunity to take your power back from your breakup and let go of the ways of being and doing that are no longer working for you. We can create our own inner peace even during the most difficult times. We can create a sense of comfort even in solitude when we feel like everything is falling apart.
Maybe that breakup was a way to shake things up and free you up to be available for what you truly deserve.
When we experience a life change, it’s usually a call to open ourselves up to things that are way better than we could ever imagine.
I hope you can view this time of year as a beautiful way to redefine what truly makes you happy, tap into your own magic, and allow healing to take place without letting the hustle and bustle of the season force you down a dark hole.
So give yourself permission to:
1. Create new traditions for yourself. If you find yourself suddenly single around the holidays, use this time as an opportunity to redefine what the holidays mean for you and create new traditions around that. This could be having a small gathering with friends that bring out the best in you or finding a way to be of service to someone. Or ask yourself, “What would the perfect holiday look like for me?” and spend some time planning how that will look. Then go do it!
2. Be alone. Intentionally being alone around the holidays can be incredibly empowering. It can give you the opportunity to create the experience of what you truly want instead of what others expect of you.
3. Say no. If you don’t want to go to a family gathering because it’s too stressful and don’t want to navigate questions of why you are still single, simply say no. Same for any gathering that your heart isn’t fully into. Enforcing healthy boundaries is an act of self-love. No apologies needed for this.
4. Be in gratitude for what you already have and how far you have come. Being in the energy of gratitude for the blessings that surround you is a guaranteed way to lift your spirits and attract more exciting things into your life.
5. Be sad. Yes, you don’t have to be smiling all the time during the holidays because someone said it’s a time of good cheer. Allow yourself to fully feel anything that comes up for you and don’t make yourself wrong for it. The caveat here is to not linger in this space. Have your moment and then do something nourishing for yourself that makes you happy.
6. Create an exercise routine where you move your body in some form every day. This allows the release of endorphins, which helps elevate your mood. It helps any stuck energy move through the body, which allows healing to take place.
I hope you can find some solace and peace in these words. I hope you can find the strength and power within to create a beautiful season, even if you are going through the tough stuff. I hope you can find beauty in the tough stuff because it’s preparing you for something miraculous that you truly deserve.
I hope you find it in your heart to believe that.