Most people say they want happiness, but feel like having it is out of their control.
I used to be on of them.
One of those people who isn’t really “happy” most of the time, and has no idea how or where to find happiness because they believe that exterior things—like people, situations, jobs, and money—in their environment directly impact their happiness.
Now, I know that’s all bullsh*t and that happiness is a choice.
I know firsthand that sometimes when you’re so used to the struggle, strife, and feeling like life is beating you up, making that choice is hard AF. But it is still only a choice, and we, at all times, no matter how bad it may seem, have the power to decide to be happy.
But most of us don’t know how to look at something that we don’t want and maintain our inner peace, happiness, and focus. Contrast, life challenges, and those f*cking lemons are hard and human!
You look at a problem and believe that the only way to solve it is to prepare for it to get worse instead of preparing for it to be over, which is what you really want.
You become conditioned and lost in that whirlwind energy of expecting bad sh*t all the time.
You forget that it doesn’t have to be that way.
You can choose, access, and find peace and happiness anytime you feel like it, no matter what is going on in your world.
All it takes is the desire, a little self-awareness, and focus. You ready?
Here are six ways to be happy on purpose:
1. Stop talking about your problems.
This is a friendly reminder that your words are f*cking powerful.
I know, you’re just trying to make light of it, vent, and feel better, but by continuing to speak on it, joke about it, and have it at the forefront of your whole being, how can you possibly choose happiness?
Constantly talking about what we don’t want keeps us in that stagnant energy of continuing to receive exactly what we do not want. Even if you can’t be positive or say something nice about it try ceasing all conversation, venting, joking about the matter.
Accept that your feelings are valid, and let go of the need to keep discussing it to feel validated and supported.
2. Talk about your desires like they’re yours now.
This is going to challenge some of you like it did me, but it is a total game-changer for reprogramming your subconscious beliefs and shifting your state to happiness.
It’s not fake positivity; it’s practice. You don’t really know what it is like to have the thing you want because you haven’t had it yet.
But you do know why you want it and what it is going to mean for you to have it. Focus on that. Daydream, play with your imagination, and start thinking and talking about it like it already is.
When you focus on the good, even if it is not here yet, the good shows up—and gets better and better and better.
3. Stop caring about what people think, say, or do.
You can’t choose happiness for yourself and keep holding onto what others want, need, or expect because you are going to want different things, and your deciding factor should never include diminishing, settling, or dismissing what you truly want for anyone or anything.
If you want to be happy, remind yourself that what people say, think, or do is truly none of your business. And if you are honest with yourself, it can’t and won’t harm or impact you in any way, unless you allow it to.
4. Listen to your gut; follow your intuition.
“God, I’m ready for that sign now.”
That little voice inside you that tries to warn, protect, and guide you has never been wrong, has it? How many times have you ignored it and later regretted it? How many times have you listened to it and felt a wave of appreciation for its direction?
Your gut, intuition, those nudges, those pockets of inspiration, and high vibes are not a coincidence or just chemical reactions in your body. They are messages from soul. They are answers. They are protection, guidance, and direction.
Tune in and listen to yourself more. Being in alignment with who you are is a high and happiness unlike any other.
5. Find reasons to feel good and have fun.
How many times have you unexpectedly had a conversation or seen something that cracks you up to the point of tears, and when you’re done laughing, you realized how good it felt?
And that perhaps you hadn’t laughed or felt that good, even if it was just for a moment, in a while?
Most adults have forgotten not only how to have fun, but that life is supposed to be good and fun all the f*cking time!
But it’s never too late to change the channel on life, as I say. You have the power, at any moment, to choose something that makes you happy. Anything.
I like playing with my kids and making them laugh. Dancing my ass off to a song I love. Practicing my singing, piano, and going to voice lessons. Having an orgasm. Going for a walk in nature. Visiting the ocean. Playing a competitive game on my phone or with my kids.
It is going to be different for everyone, but we all have our own little shortcuts to being high-vibe. Use them, and use them daily.
You deserve to feel good, laugh, and enjoy yourself.
6. Forgive yourself for the bumps along the way.
One of the hardest things to do is to let go of the coulda-shoulda-wouldas.
Some of us, and I mean me included, are so f*cking hard on ourselves. We are so ambitious, driven, and have such a roaring fire inside of us to evolve that we are constantly beating ourselves up over everything when things don’t go the way we envisioned.
We beat ourselves up about things from the past. About things having to do with our kids. About things we didn’t say or do. About things we want really bad, still don’t have, and blame ourselves for.
The list goes on, and it adds up, believe it or not.
Practice forgiving yourself daily.
Even when you think there is nothing to forgive yourself for, you’d be surprised what comes up when you say these words:
“I forgive myself for…”
I’m not saying it’s going to be easy at first, but try. It gets easier because being at peace with yourself is your natural state, not those feelings of lack and unworthiness.
All of us are holding onto some form of regret, guilt, and shame, and that kind of baggage isn’t meant to be carried around forever.
It has served its purpose; you can let it go now, and choose to be happy and present.
I hope my message has helped you see that being happy isn’t about having it all figured out or knowing how everything is going to work out exactly.
It’s about deciding that no matter how the sequence of events go, or how it turns out, you can be happy no matter what.