December 11, 2021

What we Seek is Seeking Us: This is how we Create Expansion.


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There’s a beautiful perspective on healing that allows us to enter the journey from a place of possibility. From expansion rather than contraction.

For many of us, healing is connected to having a problem, needing to be fixed, issues that we have to resolve.

Much of this is a struggle.

And in this, we’re looking for answers, we’re looking for reasons, we’re looking for meaning.

We have a goal with this.

It’s something to achieve.

There’s a place we need to get to.

There are things we need to make happen.

And there’s a way we think this should be—a way we think we should be, a way we think love, relationships, pleasure, and sex should be. This contracts us.

It puts pressure on us, which contracts us more, which then creates stress, which then contracts us even further.

Firstly, when we see this as a journey of growth, something changes. Immediately. It allows a perspective that expands us—that opens us to possibilities.

The next thing is that we’re going to create a space within us for something to happen. A space of intimacy with ourselves, a space of awareness.

A space of energy.

A space of the body.

A space of the heart.

A space of softness.

It’s a space of connecting with ourselves, naturally.

In this space, we open, naturally.

And as we open, we release that which we need to.

And as we open, the understanding we need arises.

And as we open, we make space for this to happen.

We make space for things to change within us.

This is how we access the wisdom within us. Without struggling, without fighting ourselves, our minds, our hearts, our bodies. Without using so much energy to hold on, to keep us in place, to keep the masks or the armours there.

And without staying in the story of who we think we are, who we think we need to be, who others think we are and need us to be.

But it happens…

We don’t make it happen, and it doesn’t always mean it’s easy.

Going within—deep within ourselves—may be one of the most challenging things we can do.

Seeing ourselves—all of who we are, seeing our shadow, seeing our dark requires courage. It requires persistence, consistency, and dedication, which then opens expansion. This is the space of growth.

There’s an awareness of this being on a journey of possibility, of exploration, of discovery.

We put what we think is the goal aside, and we allow something to emerge.

We give ourselves space.

We give ourselves time.

Rumi said, “What you seek is seeking you.”

This is a journey of seeking ourselves, and it’s only in the softness, in the allowing, in the surrender that these parts of us can be met, and can rise to meet us.

We have to be in a space to see them, hear them, feel them, be aware of them.

But in contraction, we can’t. We stay in a pattern, and in the pattern, we see ourselves as we were.

What is seeking us, what’s within us, what longs to be met, felt, expressed, experienced, danced is a being of love—a being of pleasure. A being who delights in sensuality, in feeling, in emotion. In tears and laughter, in orgasmic joy, and in solitude.

A lover, our lover is waiting for us in the quiet, in the stillness.

That’s the space we create.

We have this world view of fixing, of doing, of pushing, of resisting. Of solving problems, of taking action.

Let’s stop for a moment, pause, take a breath, and soften. Let’ see what emerges.

Step into the possibility.

There’s freedom in this that opens our eyes to see a picture that’s bigger than we had thought.

This is the space of connection—where we see how many aspects of our lives are connected to our issues. We see that nothing in us is in a vacuum. Nothing happens on its own.

As the skin of our genitals is the skin of our whole body, everything within us is connected.

And as we connect more, we see how our issues, blockages, problems start to resolve and move.

We see them differently; we see ourselves differently.

And we welcome them, because of the possibilities they hold for us.


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