View this post on Instagram
The last year has been a whirlwind of trauma, emotions, and a wake-up call.
I was forced to strip away all the outer flesh and let go of thoughts and beliefs that resonated in my inner core—the outer flesh of what others thought of me and the stories I told myself. Also, whom I blamed for my circumstances.
I stripped away the flesh and stopped blaming others for my current misfortune. I questioned my stories and realized that I’m the author of my life. I can write Katy’s book however I want. I’m ambitiously creating new stories, filled with love, peace, joy, happiness, wealth, health, and healing.
I questioned my beliefs and how I thought this universe really worked. I had nothing left but a skeleton. Also, a sea of emotions that were mixed together and tangled up like an old necklace, found in the bottom of a dilapidated drawer.
As I was rebuilding, I became aware of every negative thought I had of myself, others, and life in general. I realized that the baggage of negative energy I carried within was constantly making an outward appearance. Negative comments and complaints spewed out of my mouth like poison. I reflected sadness, pain, anger, frustration, fear, and anxiety. I wore the negative emotions like a pair of grungy pants, daily. I also borrowed others’ feelings and emotions. Yep, I took it right out like a new sweater in my sister’s closet and stole it!
Most of all, I was afraid and didn’t think I was capable of being in charge.
My story was that I didn’t know how to run my own life and make my own decisions. I was giving the steering wheel to someone else. All of a sudden, they slammed on the breaks, got out of the car, and walked away. I was sitting in the passenger’s seat just gazing in horror at the cold and empty space beside me. I was frozen in fear and didn’t know what to do, how to think, or even act. I had no confidence or belief in myself.
I finally took time for myself. I just stopped, got quiet, and listened. I was able to take a moment and be….to clear my thoughts out and listen. That’s when I could hear God’s voice and it has opened up a new perspective of the universe He created for us to enjoy.
During this time, I have destroyed the shaky foundation that I previously built. I cleared it all out and started over. I was the contractor to this beautiful mansion—me. I realized the wonder and fearlessness of freedom. The creativity that flows and the boldness that shows up. All this took great courage. I began using the strongest and most beautiful foundation blocks. Only the best materials because I’m worth it.
Now, my thoughts are the seeds of positivity.
They are growing and blooming. The results are beautiful flowers, herbs, fresh veggies, and fruits in my inward and outward space. The weeds of negativity have been plucked away and thrown out. I’m the gardener watering, feeding, loving, and caring for myself. Happiness glows in my smile and laughter. Positive vibrations flow out of me that are contagious to all whom I allow in my space.
I’m still creating and building.
I found the courage to get out of the passenger seat, to walk around and sit in the driver’s seat of my life. Let’s just say, I put the pedal to the metal and floored it! Hell, I even threw out that old, banged up car and bought a new one. It’s the most beautiful sports car with top-of-the-line leather and completely new technology. I’m driving that baby wherever I go proudly. All because I took the courage to strip it all away and let go. Building me all fresh and new.
Through this process, I have learned that courage is the mother of confidence.
When you step away from fear and self-doubt and have courage to step into the dark of the unknown, you allow your light to shine. That’s where you find abundance in all areas of life—all that God wants for you. Slowly inching forward, one foot at a time, with your candle. As you take those first baby steps, you will realize that there’s nothing to fear, and confidence starts to take hold.
Your pace will get faster and steps bigger. You trade in that candle for a flashlight because your light is growing brighter. I imagine my light getting brighter and brighter. As I take more and more steps, I continue to learn, create, and enjoy my life in inspired action that I love for my growth.
If I don’t fill myself up to overflowing, then I can’t give to others. That’s my ultimate goal—to love me in order to reflect love to others and share my light.