We must undergo a massive reorientation to ourselves along the journey of healing from symptoms that result from a lack of love, or what we refer to as codependency.
This journey requires we pass through the eye of a needle, which arrives in the form of our deepest ache that never goes way, so that we may emerge rooted in something far more nutritive and sturdy than what the ephemerality of the external world can ever provide.
This Chironic initiation, both timeless and erotic in its nature, is not for the faint of heart because it requires sacrificing what we have unconsciously been holding on to and storing in that ache for a very long time…
the tension of feeling that we either must fit in with others (and are thus safe and loved) or belong to ourselves and thus risk losing safety and love…
along with the underlying ancestral contract that pervades codependent culture…
that we must remain loyal to suffering as a form of love.
Our roots have gotten too tangled up in soil strewn across the top layers of the earth. Our roots are trying to find their way down to the nourishment of the archetypal mother, but too much muck has gotten in the way.
Instead, we reach for the ground and we find the soil of our upbringing that has been watered with a culture systemically disconnected from rooted love and fills the sea with its refuse.
We are so technologically distracted that we can’t see that what we have been conditioned to draw resource from isn’t actually the nutritive soil of the earth, rather a mimic of it.
We are sold mimics of eros, nourishment, and healing all the time.
Because we are so thirsty, validly so, we keep drinking and feeding from it—trying to adapt ourselves to a dysfunctional system and free ourselves of patterns within the patterns themselves.
It’s crazy making.
Grieving this lack of loving soil begins to free us, but then, where or how do we reorient ourselves?
What soil do we plant seeds and unfurl our roots in?
Where do we place our trust?
How do we find a sense of stability in the ground of who we are if we’ve been locating our sense of self outside of us for so long?
It’s not an either we locate ourselves internally or we are constantly seeking externally.
This risks a kind of sovereignty that is a reaction to outward-seeking that leaves us cold, over-boundaried, scared, and counter dependently enacting the same pattern from the other side.
We are sovereign, but we are also interdependent.
We exist within an ecosystem; even our spirituality and our relationship to the source of Life itself exists within an ecosystem.
Our self doesn’t exist inside a vacuum of individuality.
We are more like trees than we realize.
Trees live in a community of the forest and care deeply for each other, yet each tree exists on its own, with its own roots, trunk, life blood, branches, leaves, fruits, and ecosystems of life that it exchanges nutrients with.
We have roots down into the archetypal mother, our ancestors, the ground, the soil, the nutrients, and the mycological life-forms that sustain us and all other life.
Our branches reach up to the cosmos, stars, the realms of Spirit, and the archetypal Father.
Our body, the divine child, is where union unfolds in our hearts and we commune with God though our dreams, prayers, rituals, ceremonies, visions, guidance, and wisdom.
This reorientation and conscious embodiment of a relationship with Life, God, a higher power brings us back into a radically loving relationship with ourselves, and from here, our relationship with others emerges in a natural way that feels more resonant and supported by life.
It takes time, in interdependence, to learn that it is safe to belong to ourselves and to be loved as we are in our belonging to the ecosystem of our lives.
Most of us are learning this map with no models in the human world.
It is time we unwind our parental and cultural wounds from God, from Life, and take back our projections of God (or Goddess) from the humans in our lives.
We must reorient ourselves within our own human to the Divine energies of this Life, this rooting our sovereignty in something loving, and healing our ecosystems from there.
It takes longer, but it cracks us open into the lives only our bones now carry the memories of.
It’s all there, and we instinctively know how to do it when the space is there.