March 25, 2022

2 Perfect Responses for when People Spew their Negativity at Us.

*Warning: much needed strong language ahead!
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I have a low tolerance for bullshit.

Well, let me clarify.

When it comes to people I love, my tolerance is actually fairly high. Maybe too high. (I’m still working on that whole “boundaries” thing.)

But when it comes to strangers or acquaintances or just rude people out in the world, I tend to be quick to snap.

I’d love to say this attitude comes solely from the years I spent working in retail and as a server. Or those other years I spent in sales and customer service and management. Or possibly those months working at a venture capital firm. Years spent listening to people order me around or complain about me ordering them around. Years spent hearing “this isn’t what I ordered,” “that’s not what I want,” “get this for me now,” and “that’s not fair.”

Years spent with people spewing their negativity at me. Taking their bad days out on me. Forgetting how to be decent human beings.

But honestly, I think it’s just part of my personality.

I don’t like injustice. I don’t like cruelty. I don’t like when people act like assholes. (Myself included.)

And while I aim to take the high road in these situations—particularly when my job or safety depends on it—and respond firmly but with some level of compassion (because we all deserve the benefit of the doubt sometimes), I’ve also been known to respond with an equally firm, and decidedly less compassionate “fuck you” (or something more colorful).

I don’t regret any of those instances—because, honestly, “fuck” is such a satisfying word to say when you’re pissed off. But as I get older, I realize that I should probably have a few other, not-so-aggressive, slightly-more-mindful responses in my back pocket for these moments.

Here are two that are starting to grow on me:

The first comes from poet Nikita Gill. She is the level of compassionate I aspire to be.

 

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The second comes from writer, creator, and mom Elyse Myers (whose videos make me laugh regularly). She is the level of unbothered I aspire to be.

 

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How do you respond when people spew their negativity at you? Share in the comments!

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