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March 24, 2022

When one Door Closes: how to turn Setbacks into Opportunities for Growth.

“When one door closes, another one opens, but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.” ~ Alexander Graham Bell

~

In March of 2017, I left a 25-year-long stint at my former place of employment.

I remember the day like it was yesterday. It was a beautiful spring day—the air was crisp, the birds were chirping, and my palms were sweaty. My entire body was in flux, and I felt my heart rate escalate as I composed the farewell letter to my boss.

Honestly, I didn’t plan to exit my post the way that I did. In fact, this anger and hostility of mine were bubbling under the surface for many years, but I finally reached my breaking point and simply reacted without considering the repercussions. I didn’t have a contingency plan. I didn’t logically think it through.

After a full year of looking for new employment, I got hired at a state-of-the-art facility in February of 2018. Without a word of a lie, I was in the right place at the right time and I was chosen to be a part of an elite team of professionals after two weeks of auditions. It was the happiest day when I got notified that I’d been hired.

Fast-forward to present day: when one door closed for me in March of 2017, another beautiful one opened for me in February of 2018. Regrets? At the time, yes. But now? Not at all.

Here’s where I think Alexander Graham Bell got it right, and we, human beings, got it wrong:

When we are faced with disappointments, it’s absolutely normal and perfectly okay to mourn the loss of a person, a place, or a thing for as much time as we need. What isn’t serving us as a species is wearing our setbacks as indicators for who we are at our core. Yes, sh*t happens all the time, and we are allowed to feel like sh*t for it, but not at the expense of our long-term health or our overall outlook for the future.

If only we could see that when one door closes, another door or window will eventually open. Maybe not immediately or instantly, but inevitably and in due time, it will.

Instead of carrying around feelings of despair, sadness, regret, guilt, shame, anger, or resentment, we can turn things around and be more hopeful. Maybe we can put more faith in a higher power, or the universe for that matter, for guiding us in an appropriate direction and truly having our back.  Maybe the things we see as setbacks are actually opportunities and eventual successes in disguise.

Instead of putting on the blinders, shielding ourselves from the pain, hiding behind closed doors, and repressing our true selves, we can open up to the real possibilities that await us behind those bolts and locks.

What if instead of regretting the decisions you make, you accept them more readily?

What if instead of berating yourself for making mistakes, you chuckled at yourself for being human and know that there will be a myriad of errors that you will still make and be okay, no matter what?

In my humble opinion, for what it’s worth, don’t look back on what you did with regret. It got you to where you are right now, as you read these words.

And even if you aren’t exactly where you want to be yet, trust me, you will definitively get there, when the time is right. Because everything that is truly meant to be yours will be yours. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.

Remember that when one door closes, another will open. Maybe it’ll be a window. But something more fitting to your needs, wants, and desires will undoubtedly be yours if you’re patient and loving with yourself.

Have faith and the goodness will follow.

Sending love and light to each and every one of you!

 

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