Under the pain is the wilderness of the spirit.
You choose the landscape of your mind. Your spirit will feel captive or liberated in the environment you create for it. Under the pain is where you find the world of your spirit. What does your spirit look like? Is it a changeling? Does it stay the same? What color?
My spirit met me first as a horse named Gypsy. She lived next door and often, I would sneak out at night to stargaze with her. Greek mythology was my favorite thing as a child, and together we’d find all the constellations and I’d recite whatever I knew about the stories that explained the stars. As a child, the world never made sense to me. The stars did. Having that magical escape as a child is what saved me. She has saved me over and over again.
I always saw my spirit as a horse with wings of a swan that could carry her wherever she needed to go. She also had a well-earned sword between her eyes. It was her source of truth and wisdom.
Under the pain, after you face how much it f*cking hurts, is where you find the realm of spirits. All of your spirits. Didn’t you know you’ve been collecting them all this time? They all lived in a meadow of sanctuary, swaying with the grasses as flowers to be plucked when you need them most. Flowers that hold the stories you get to tell and express in ways that bring you nothing but joy. Flowers that take root in the real experiences and gravity they hold. They all bloom.
Trust yourself. You, like me, have a decerning palette, and you carry it wherever you go. It’s yours and yours alone. Your voice matters. Express it in a way that promotes harmony.
How do you face it? How do you stay anchored and not lost in the hurricane of emotions? You breathe. You accept the pain, the injustice of what happened to you. You let it play out in your mind and you keep breathing. You do not fear what may have been. That is not the timeline you’re on. Stay in your lane. You can watch what others are accomplishing on theirs, sure. Get inspired!
You are the only one who gets to build your life. Put on the yellow helmet of construction. (Mine is a flower crown.)
The world is not lost. Humanity is flawed, yes, but not broken. We have to build the garden within us before we can learn how others grow best.
To build the garden, you must accept where you are in the present. You have all the freedom and power in the world. Remember that the patron goddess of the United States is Liberty, not Freedom. Liberty is taking a step from whatever chains held you and taking steps toward inner harmony and pursuing happiness in the material world.
Happiness is a lot like your spirit. It’s a restless concept and will have you following it far more than it will stay. If you can establish peace and harmony in your surroundings, like most creatures, you will be drawn to that energy.
When all your interests are aligned, and your mind and body are in balance, it feels like your energy is limitless. You’ve come this far, and you have nothing to lose. Find the eye of the hurricane, stare into it, and embrace the quiet surrender of what doesn’t belong to you. Hold on only to what is yours, and let the shame others convinced you of fall away like a shadow. Never forget, just figure out how to learn from it—transmute. In the spirit world, you can heal your soul. It’s a playful place.
Once you learn how to bend the energy within you, you’ll find the curiosity and childlike boldness of your nature. Bold is not rash. Delight is the strongest warrior of them all. So many want to trap her for their selfish use. Find a way to build something in the world with your delight.
I have so many ideas. My problem is follow-through. I didn’t really develop organizing skills. Except, in a way, I did because I learned how to attach a color to how I feel. Those colors are the threads I get to use to weave my own destiny. My husband organizes with sounds and the systems of plants and how they thrive. Our house is a disaster, but we are slowly learning how to tackle that.
Find yourself. Sit with yourself. Write with yourself. Draw with yourself. When you are doing something that brings you delight and wonder, you are connected to the most beautiful part of yourself. Learn about it. You deserve it.
See and accept yourself for who you are—warts and all. That is where healing flows, and delight helps the current pull the way you want.