I’d been infiltrated.
The masculine paradigms of the corporate world, of hustle culture, of misogyny had me wrapped in their unhealthy embrace. I fell for it all—hook, line, and sinker.
It wasn’t all for nothing; it was ultimately for my expansion and my awakening. Here I stand.
Tearing it down, rewriting the rules of being a woman in corporate; getting it right some days and getting burnt others.
Within the same breath…I am witnessing and contributing to a continuous burning down of what doesn’t align, in order for those new shoots to grow.
The ‘hustle harder’ narrative had me disconnected, out of alignment and almost at complete burnout while I expanded my company to more than 30 internal employees and millions of dollars in revenue.
When success called, the ladder I had been programmed to climb appeared. And because of my conditioning, I felt obligated. It was easier to climb in pain, than rock the boat, trust my instincts and be seen as a woman making money and positively impacting many by standing in my truth.
That unspoken feeling of obligation is a heavy emotion. It is hard to carry and often full of resentment. A dirty word, that is almost never whispered in corporate or the world of high achieving women.
Why?
No one wants to feel obligated to do the work they do, for whom they do it, or in the way they have been told to do it – especially not women. But we do; we have for so long.
Because of conditioning.
Because of societal norms.
Because of the box we have been told to sit down in, to be quiet and just fit in.
It keeps everyone else happy, while we live with bitterness as the undercurrent to all that we do.
This is no place for women to shine, to grow and lead their teams; to take over companies and make copious amounts of money with which to do good in the world.
It requires us to rock the damn boat. It requires us to break free from the cage in which we have lived, in order to thrive.
In order for us to change course, we have to slow down.
We have to do the work on ourselves, to make peace with what we have been taught – the trauma that may have been inflicted upon us, that we have continued to carry, heavy as it may be.
I had to do the work on myself. By myself. For myself. And in turn, for them.
The slowing down and moving beyond the false sense of safety that hustle had provided me, was completely disorienting.
I felt out of my depth, like I was suffocating and needed to swim to the surface for a big gulp of air.
And then I learnt how to breathe again.
Breathwork showed me where I had been out of my body for so long – where I lived, trapped in the matrix that didn’t align with who I was becoming. The toxic masculine paradigms continuously being enunciated within the corridors of corporate had infiltrated me.
I no longer knew who I was. I had forgotten the little girl within me and what she deeply desired in the world. But most importantly, I had lost touch with the leader within me, shaped by the lessons learned over the years. My instincts were screaming at me to be present, to listen and to realign with the vision that once drove me.
And so the burning began. The breathing deepened. The inner-healing took front and center.
I moved my body, my mind and my spirit like never before. I went on a soul journey to awaken the woman within. To remember who the F*ck I was.
In doing so, the wild woman that I have always been began reappearing, slowly at first and then faster and faster as I consciously chose to let go of what was blocking me. My superpower as a Woman in Corporate, and in Leadership, started to emerge.
As I grounded myself, trusted my instincts and surrendered to the flow of life, I began to make gradual changes within my team and office. We recreated an aligned set of values that held the vision of inclusion, prosperity and contribution through community.
We implemented in-house breathwork, mindset and emotional mentoring to support everyone in being heard, seen and understood in their own journey to becoming. Everyone deserves to learn how to become the person they imagine themselves to be, as opposed to someone earning a wage at the expense of meaningful and satisfying contribution.
Going first, doing the work and being willing to meet my team where they truly are, has allowed us to unplug from the unhealthy masculine paradigms of hustle, competition and unfulfilled obligation.
Making a positive impact in the new landscape that has emerged since the pandemic, demands us to be better and willing to do the work on ourselves. As the saying goes ‘as above, so below’, we are indeed the creators of our own reality.
What lies beyond the false sense of security that the toxic system has instilled within us, is a world full of purpose, connection and balance. By consciously choosing a slower pace – one that nourishes our truest expression of femininity and power – we put ourselves before the corporate ladder-climb.
Well rested, nourished and grounded women – changing the world from the inside out – are the ones who stand grounded in their leadership, sending ripples of change into their communities for future generations to revel in.
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