April 5, 2022

Being Alone doesn’t have to be Lonely.


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I don’t really know many people who are single.

Most are either married or in a committed relationship. My thought is that people aren’t comfortable being alone. Makes sense to me. It’s hard. And lonelyat first.

I’ve been divorced for a little over two years, separated for three. I’ve been alone this whole time. In the beginning, it was horrible. It was winter and the pandemic was just about to start. During the weeks when my kids were with their dad, I was depressed and anxious, and uncomfortable with my own company. I was constantly looking forward to when my girls would be home.

Slowly, I started doing things by myself and for myself. I started going out on walks during my lunch break while working from home. I started a puzzle to pass the time. I did video calls with family. I binge-watched some TV to keep my mind occupied.

The more time I spent doing these things alone, the more comfortable I became. I began to realize that a lot of people were not comfortable being on their own, and that’s why they stayed in relationships that were no longer serving them.

I began to realize that I would much rather be on my own and participate in life by myself than be in a relationship that didn’t make me 100 percent happy. I realized that I didn’t want to be like a friend of mine who always has a boyfriend; jumping in and out of relationships just to avoid being single.

While this is not the case for everyone, it certainly worked for me. I learned things about myself. I grew and evolved as a person. I learned to appreciate the quiet times and to really enjoy being on my own. I think doing this work has better prepared me for the next relationship that comes along. I’ll participate wholeheartedly because it feels right and benefits my life, not just because I’m lonely.

If you find yourself in a similar situation, put the work in. Learn to enjoy your own company. Become comfortable with the quiet and peace. I think you’ll find that you’ll come out a much stronger person in the end.

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