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Worship the pearl of pleasure
Worship with your eyes
With your mouth
With your words
With your touch
Worship with your desire
With your wonder
Worship the peak of the mountain
And the key to the sacred grotto
Worship the pearl of pleasure
And the glory of the goddess
Last week was Coffee and Cunnilingus Day, which came about in response to Steak and Blow Job Day, which came about in response to Valentine’s Day.
It makes me wonder what’s next.
I write a Coffee Blog, shorter pieces, often very personal. I wrote one for Coffee, Hot Cross Buns, and Cunnilingus, which had a fabulous response and led to some beautiful, interesting conversations—some with deep pain and the possibility of healing.
From this, my mind wandered over many aspects of this beautiful, delicious, intimate, arousing, worshipful experience. And from this, I’d like to share some aspects of this with you.
The clitoris is so much more than we often think it is. Firstly, it’s so much bigger than many of us see.
In so many workshops, I ask how big a clit is, and so many people answer things like the size of a pea, the tip of my little finger; they hold up two fingers with a time space between them.
Then I ask how much they know about icebergs; it’s a good analogy here.
What we see and feel is the tip of the iceberg, the tip of a vast, deep, and complex structure in the body. It’s the tip of an incredible system of nerves that go deep into your yoni, deep into your pelvis.
The next thing is that we often think that the clit is just for pleasure—actually orgasms. And orgasms and pleasure are not necessarily the same thing.
It’s connected to blood flow in the entire pelvis, which is important for health of all the tissue there. And it’s connected to fertility and reproduction, whether we choose to have children or not.
Many of us men seem to think that the clit, when we find it (which is still something lots of us struggle with), is a way station. It’s a place we have to stop and touch on the way to somewhere else. And that somewhere else is mostly penetration.
In the same way we’re expected to kiss and touch your breasts, we rub your clit. And generally, we do that hard and fast—which is a great cue for a digression. Hard and fast—because that’s what we see in porn. Because that’s the way we’ve been told it needs to be. Because that’s the way to make her come…again, it’s what we’ve been told.
Here’s something: a lot of clits have, over time, become numb from hard and fast and you think they might need harder and faster. And, as unpopular as this may sound, vibrators have played a big part in this.
Let’s talk about orgasms and pleasure for a moment.
Clits are sources of orgasms. Just one source…of amazing orgasms.
If we become more aware of energy and focus—less on hard and fast—and if we become less aware of trying to make it happen and more aware of flowing into pleasure, an orgasm is often the right stimulation in the right way.
And pleasure is so much more.
Then we bring our awareness to the divine.
This body, yours and mine, divine.
And our genitals, yoni and lingam, divine.
And then, this pearl of pleasure.
So let us worship this pearl because it is a key, which is one meaning of the word, clitoris, to so much pleasure, such energy. Part of this worship is to explore, and to explore is to slow down, slow down, slow down—in our touch, in our mouths, in our caress.
Move your focus, your intention, from orgasm to pleasure. Take time away; there’s nowhere to go other than here, now, and open to the possibility of everything that’s present in your mouth and her clitoris.
Rest your lips there.
Feel that connection in stillness. This, the first moments, just touching, holding still, are so important.
This is where the conversation of bodies begins. And in the stillness, there’s the beginning of relaxation, of opening, of softening.
When you begin to move, slowly, softly. Slower than you think you can.
Feel your mouth, the sensations, the tastes, the aroma.
Feel the pulsation, the energy.
And then pause.
A long pause.
In this pause, waves of pleasure move through her body, waves of energy, waves of sensation. Draw her pearl into your mouth, suck it from its hood, hold it there, hold it, and release.
Hold your tongue still there and move your head.
Building a fire that can become an inferno, an explosion, or a fire that you can keep burning.
Worship the pearl of pleasure.