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In this fragmented world of the 21st century, it is but natural that there will inexorably be a few situations that shatter your mind into pieces and thrash you into a negative frame of mind.
But, moving past it and looking forward to better opportunities are the marker of a positive human, while a negative person will stick to the toxicity and pass it on to the others around him.
Some of the most common traits of a negative person include complaining all the time, picking out faults, bossing around, fearing change, envying others, and attacking personally with remarks, to name a few.
Below I listed a few tips to stay calm and positive when you are surrounded by negative people:
As the saying goes, “Ignorance is bliss,” and it turns out to be indeed true when surrounded by negative people. However, there are times when you are not in a position to look through them and have to compellingly engage in a conversation.
In times like these, let them know that you hardly have time for this conversation and there are other obligations waiting for you on the desk; with this, you are firstly ignoring their efforts to trigger those pessimistic points, and secondly, creating healthy boundaries beyond which they aren’t allowed to step under any circumstance. We are not asking you to be explicitly rude, but pull yourself out from their radar by stating a solid excuse every time you come across them.
Even if they fall for your “deception” during the initial days, they will soon understand that you are deliberately trying to maintain a safe distance from them, and this will inevitably create a safe border separating them from you.
2. Act, don’t react.
The first thing that Zen teaches us is to maintain calm at all moments, but we can understand how excruciating it can get to be surrounded by negativity at all times. Unfortunately, sometimes our reactions become involuntary, especially when triggered by a deleterious scenario.
Reactions are principally impulsive. Far from being constituted by the fear of consequences, they only consider the present, and this is the reason why we often regret our uncontrolled outbursts.
When we say “act” in a certain situation, we mean respond to it with an optimum balance of emotions, unlike its counterpart. Thus, if you sense a person gradually stimulating your prompt and aggressive reactions, take a few moments to cool down, even if it means zoning out for a bit. Try to pull yourself out of the setting mentally and let your mind wander to its safe haven.
After you know you are in control of your sentiments, delineate a suitable response that is amiable to everyone involved.
3. Say a prayer.
There is nothing more powerful in this world than a prayer to a higher entity or the Almighty, whom you believe protects you. Anything that makes you feel stronger and more confident in the face of these trivialities will grant you the ability to overcome the stances of negativity.
Your mind is your greatest weapon; always remember that you are the one sailing its ship, and the ghastly winds are too insignificant to sway it without your consent. Remind yourself from time to time that your energy and disposition are entirely your own, and there exists a strict barrier resisting its amalgamation with the opposing energy. Otherwise, you can also try visualizing pure air entering your body while the contaminated air is breathed out to stay positive around negative people.
4. Create strict boundaries.
Creating boundaries with people is indispensable when it comes to maintaining your sanity and keeping intact your peace of mind. Unfortunately, we human beings haven’t been blessed with the superpower to form opaque shells around us whenever a situation starts getting unpleasant.
Our mental health and well-being lie with us, and there can be no room for compromise in them. Before things start getting out of hand and you end up in an inescapable situation, where you are obliged to bear it all, fashion your boundaries bright and clear.
Do not sugarcoat your feelings and transparently state your expectations from people and how you anticipate them to behave around you. For instance, if there’s a friend who always tells you that your achievements aren’t significant enough, don’t share with them your accomplishments at all, even if that means distancing yourself from the bond. Don’t deliberately dip your feet in the same mud that only gets filthier with time over and over again. Set your boundaries once and for all, and see the alterations that it brings about for the better.
5. Let it go.
Holding something in your heart for the longest time not only deteriorates your will but makes way for a lot of obnoxious thoughts and actions that do not comply with the person you are.
Learn to let go and analyze it from a completely distinct point of view that doesn’t include you as the primary constituent. I wouldn’t exactly want to call this escapism, but expand it by adding the virtues of “constructive” non-attachment and nonchalance.
Even if it seems tedious during the first few times and garners you with a string of tempting distractions, do not let your mind lose focus. Soon with the time, you will realize how you have conditioned yourself against the negative people and how clearly their opinions and outlooks do not matter anymore.
6. Think positively and be grateful for the things you have.
Whenever your mind and soul are being assailed by negative vibes, start being grateful for all the things that you consider to be a blessing and are thankful for having in your life. Even the darkest space lights up with the slightest hint of light entering it through a crack.
If people keep on hitting you below the belt and consequently your morale falls, take your mind to the places where it feels secure and comfortable if you are searching for answers for how to be zen all the time.
Remind yourself that there’s an entire road of greater possibilities and success that lies ahead of you, and these negativities can neither snatch away your happiness nor pull you back from smoothly treading into the intriguing journey of your life.
The bottom line:
Never let your mind accommodate the opinions and perceptions of negative people, no matter how insignificant or inconsequential they are. Hold your ground strongly and affirm your priorities and happiness over everybody else’s, even if it means cutting off or replacing the negative people in your close circle or amongst your acquaintances.