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Yes, yes, this is a guilty-as-charged, unadulterated clickbait headline.
But stick with me for a second.
Because this isn’t about a pickup line.
This isn’t about complimenting her outfit or her eyes or hair.
This isn’t even about making her laugh. (Although that helps.)
This isn’t about dishonest manipulation or excessive declarations of affection.
This is about showing how you’re a cut above the other guys.
To show her you’re actually the kind of man who’s willing to do the work he needs to do to truly show up for a woman in a relationship, repeat after me, gents:
“I’ve started seeing a therapist.”
Yep, that’ll do way more than you think. At least to the right woman.
This will show you actually have humility, self-awareness, and a desire to do what few men have the courage to do: master their own emotional domain.
(Now, first off, it has to be true, assholes. No faking around on this one, because the right woman will see through it in a second if you’re full of it.)
You’ve gotta actually do the work.
Find a therapist who will push you. Call you out on your sh*t. Force you to get to the realizations and epiphanies you might have been avoiding, even if they’re painful to face at first.
Because they’re the same ones that will free you, improve you, maybe even make you the kind of guy who doesn’t even need a woman on his arm to be happy.
(And there’s nothing sexier than that, fellas.)
“But I don’t need a therapist,” you say?
Well, imagine a high school kid saying “I don’t need a teacher.” Imagine a would-be doctor saying, “I don’t need med school.” Imagine an aspiring Olympic athlete saying, “I don’t need a coach or trainer.”
You’d laugh at their naivety and arrogance. Well, that’s you, in this case. You don’t have to have a life spiraling out of control to need or benefit from a therapist. You just have to want to be the best version of you possible. And if you want that, may as well get some help fine-tuning your attitudes, emotional intelligence, and discover your blind spots.
And when you actually do all that, you’ll be less likely to overreact in relationships, less prone to harmful outbursts, less likely to sabotage them out of fear, less likely to mess things up because you don’t understand your own emotions.
You won’t see going to a therapist as an obligation. You’ll see it as an opportunity.
To be a more evolved version of yourself.
To understand and articulate your emotions, needs, and desires more clearly.
And that matters way more than you telling her you work out every day.
Or can catch a three-foot salmon.
Or were the high school quarterback.
Or made a million dollars last year.
Sure, many women want a guy who takes care of his body, has passions, and is successful. Those aren’t bad traits.
But there are actually lots of guys who have those to offer.
Be one of the few guys who bring something truly unique to the table: real, genuine self-awareness.
The ability to take criticism.
The capacity to have a heated argument without letting your ego get the best of you.
The empathy to always imagine how things seem from your partner’s perspective before you go about trying to force her to hear your own.
You’ll not only become a better you, you’ll be the kind of guy who’s pretty hard to find.
But before you go about bragging about it on your next date, go do the work for a while first.
Because the woman you truly want will know the difference.
Hell, it might even change the kind of woman you go looking for.