I’ve been finding myself so naturally in a state of deep, soulful appreciation lately.
I think it’s the weather.
The sun, the warmth, the way the air feels on my skin and as I breathe it in.
It gets light so early these days, and when I wake up, I hear the sounds of the birds, so many birds. The smallest birds make the loudest sounds here! It’s the most wonderful thing.
I feel more awake, more alive, more energized.
There are beautiful flowers everywhere—whites and yellows and pinks and purples and blues. A tree at the end of my street is filled with purple flowers, and they smell like grapes! Or better than grapes! Every time I walk by, I pause, I stop, I linger—I breathe them in. I might even talk to them. I noticed today that they look like they might be dying…it seems like it must be their time, although I wish it wasn’t. I wish they could last for so much longer.
I also find myself constantly enchanted by the vibrant greens all around me.
Nature has this effect on me—it can make me feel so completely present.
And I’m trying to soak it in, all of these moments, each one of these breaths.
I want to be present with all of them, feel into them, be here fully with them.
Being present, softening into the present moment, is a practice I both effortlessly fall into, and one that I actively, consciously cultivate.
It’s so easy to get lost in thoughts or the things that we have to do. It’s so easy to get consumed in work and plans and dreams and all of the things that fill up so much of our days, but I also want to connect with the things that help me to be present, that help me feel connected to me and to this moment.
I want to have space for joy and play and presence.
We all have dreams, desires, things we want to do. It’s natural, even inevitable. We want things, we like things, we want to experience things—we want to experience things and flow into the things that we feel we’d like to do, that we feel we’re meant to do.
Desiring isn’t bad. It’s natural. Even if someone who doesn’t want to desire (who believes that “desiring is bad”) still desires—they’re just desiring to not desire!
But desiring, wanting, wishing, dreaming—is natural.
The thing, I think, that is key is to hope and dream and envision, while still allowing ourselves to be present, to appreciate where we are and what we have, the things that are around us.
We can dream and desire and still appreciate where we are.
In a way, we’re always in transition; we’ll probably never stop dreaming or wanting or desiring. That’s why I feel it’s so important to also be able to soften into the moment and appreciate where we are.
There will always be one more thing that we want and desire, some place we want to go, something we want to achieve; and yes, this is natural, so we should allow this energy to fill and flow through us. And we should flow right along with it. But it’s also true that even when we get those things or reach those places, there will just be other things that we’ll want, other places that we’ll want to go, other things that we’ll want to achieve.
It’s a never-ending cycle.
And this is something that we have to understand deeply.
Our minds want, they think, they like to be occupied. There will always be something that they desire, always something just out of reach, to pull our attention—to pull us away from being right here, right now, fully in this moment. Things that keep us from being fully present.
We all have a choice—we don’t have to want to be present, and we don’t have to want to cultivate presence. But our lives happen in the present.
The present is all that we’ll ever really experience.
And I want presence, deep, soulful presence. I want to sink into my moments and feel them completely. I want to be with them, breathe into them, I want them to fill me and flow through me. I want to be fully here, right now, for all of life.
It’s easier, of course, when the moments feel good, but even when they don’t feel so good, there’s beauty in presence, in being present with our experience, in being present with ourselves. Even if it doesn’t feel good and even if we have to remind ourselves of this!
Living in the present moment, cultivating the ability to be present, is something that I want from a deep place within me. It’s something that some deep inner space inside of me longs for and needs.
I want to be deeply, soulfully present—for all of my moments.
I want to be with them.
I want to feel them completely.