“Whether it’s science or magic, if it’s of fun benefit, enjoy!” ~ ed
We don’t ever travel alone truly.
This is one truth many of us often forget. At times, in life phases and great challenge and suffering, we can feel so alone, cast out, isolated, trapped, and forever separate from the love we know in our hearts to be true. We can feel like the universe has abandoned us completely. Left us out in the dark, breathless and fighting for life. These stories of separation and feeling worthy of that separation and pain is the toxicity that permeates our world and our minds when we give our power and belief to the darkness.
The darkness is permeable these days. Many of us can see it, taste, it, smell it, breathing it in and coughing it back up, or for some of us, an inability to digest this fecal dark matter that begins to poison our bodies, minds, and beings from the inside out. We wonder why we want to check out early, why this suffering is gripping our throats because we must have done something horribly wrong to be punished like this.
We conclude that we must have been an awful person in another life or in this one also, perhaps committed unforgivable crimes because our human minds cannot fathom why an all-loving God would want to see us in utter agony. And then slowly, painstakingly, something happens, a subtle shift, an entry point of light, a prayer gone answered by pleading on our knees for something, anything to come through. Our minds don’t always see the help, but our hearts do. We feel the cells reconnecting back to the Source, back to the light, even if darkness is still tantalizing us in its dance, and we remember our beings whole again, we remember why we came here to be on this planet at this time, for the great awakening of all hearts. We remember that pain is the portal to our own freedom, to our own sovereignty, to our own liberation, to our own inevitable release, healing, and surrender.
No, that’s not what we like to hear. We like to believe that pain means punishment. What if it was the exact opposite? That the universe, God, Spirit, Source loved you so damn much it put you in these exact experiences for you to remember the power of your own light, for you to choose your own light, for you to remember the growing strength of this light to counteract any darkness. For you to choose to step out of the shadows of your own addiction to suffering and pain, to see that you were as addicted and attached to the darkness as it was to you. No more victim. No more placating to darkness.
We rise up only as soon as we are ready to. Not a moment before. Little by little. Piece by piece. Pain by pain. Heartbreak by heartbreak. Brutal dark attack by brutal dark attack.
These times were made for us. And it is absolutely so damn valid to lose our way sometimes, or a lot, to forget why the f*ck we are here, why everything is so f*cking intense and overwhelming. Especially those who are sensitive and porous to the collective energy. We feel it all, in our own shades and flavors. Sometimes the collective darkness we feel takes a form so damn personal to us that we start to feed all the stories of personhood and conclude: “I did something bad to deserve this.”
The darkness is sneaky and cunning in those ways to find the thought forms and emotions that hit every nerve and weaker point in us—the physical vulnerabilities and sensitivities even. Our bodies and minds are intimately connected after all. Our bodies feel, sense, and respond to energies in our immediate and non-immediate environments no matter our conscious understanding of it. The greatest travesty we could ever make against our own reverent, sacred lifeforms dwelling in us is to believe that we are broken, that we are exactly who and what these dark thoughts and emotions tell us we are: worthless, worthy of pain, cut off from love.
And, sometimes, we do believe these stories. We battle darkness because the only other option feels like taking an exit strategy out of this world.
This is the energy of Pluto. Death. Rebirth. Collapsing of falsities, delusions, and illusions. Seeing through our own bullsh*t long enough to see the truth. Pluto has been in retrograde motion for a little while now and has been active in the present energy.
To add another dose of this transformative energy, we will be having a full moon in Capricorn on July 13 at 2:37 p.m. EST. Landing at 21 degrees of the earth sign, this moon will be conjunct Pluto in Capricorn.
Capricorn energy alongside Pluto is here to remind us how to collect our power from all the people, places, things, habits, patterns, and systems we gave it away to out of fear and our own valid lens of survival, trauma, and self-abandonment. Especially when we have given our power away to the darkness, believing we are powerless and victim to it, and we forget the power of our own light. We can become so mired in our pain bodies, we forget and lose our way. Some of us are blessed enough in this lifetime to have guides, mentors, teachers, potent reminders that we do not travel alone, especially in the dark.
Capricorn energy is reminding us to let go of the structures and faulty foundations of self that are not going to last long term. With Pluto in the conversation, it asks us to totally reorient our foundations to better ensure they support and nourish us for the long game. That’s Capricorn. The long game. The slow, steady climb up the mountain to build a new world. A new foundation that allows all humans and lifeforms to thrive, to live in a state of health and greater ease. But first comes the crumble (Pluto). And we already know it’s happening. We see it externally, but more so we feel it internally. We know change is pressing upon us. Life is pressurizing us beyond belief, no doubt. But it is for the highest good of the soul—individual and collective. Even if it f*cking hurts and nearly breaks us. Because its main purpose is to break our hearts open, fully to life again.
This is Cancer energy as the sun continues its travels through the emotive, sensitive, vulnerable water sign of the crab. Cancer energy has been a bit of an emotional tsunami wave. Coupled with Mercury in Cancer, we all have been feeling the watery, emotional, deeply intense landscape of our world and of our families, alongside our more sensitive feelings and communications with self and other. Cancer energy is so sensitive and in tune with the subtlety, the unspoken but the deeply felt, the energy before it can give words to the feeling. Often in our world, we have been entrained to cut ourselves off from the subtle body, even from the body and heart herself for fear of fully being here embodied and what possible harm may come our way for standing fully in our power. So, we don’t always understand what we are sensing, what our instincts our telling us, because we have overly practiced the mind masturbation of fear, gripping, and panicky nature.
And, at one point, dissociation was our only survival tool. But we have more tools now, even if we don’t always reach to use them. Capricorn is the energy of embodiment, of being here fully, connected. Cancer energy reminds us to stay connected to our hearts, out of the haunted house stories of the mind, back to the heart space, where the light can find us again. That’s it. It’s so simple, and yet we overcomplicate it, over and over again, making our healing even more inaccessible and cut off from our bodies and beings. But really, healing is so simple and yet not easy. A return to our hearts, to our light, to our remembrance as sovereign, free, divine beings, more powerful than we’ve ever been lied and told to believe.
This full moon in Capricorn has some seriousness to it, as Capricorn is ruled by Saturn. Saturn wants to wake us the f*ck up. Get us out of our own bulls*t long enough to see the goodness again, long enough to remember our power to create something different. We don’t have to stay stuck, frozen, and immobile to where we are. Breathe. Deeper now. Even deeper. That life force in you has the same power as creation, to create a whole different paradigm, vibration, and reality. We only need to choose it.
Capricorn energy knows that everything changes form. What we see now in our tangible reality will change. Our bodies will change. Our jobs. Our health status. The systems of the world even. But what stays the same is the heart, the universal connection between us all, the beacon of light that guides us home, again and again. That’s Cancer energy. The heart energy we need to guide us home, back to our beautiful, divine selves.
With this full moon, we are and have already been undergoing a deep, emotional transformation. Nothing to do about it even, just allow ourselves to go through it with a little more grace and softness toward the self, unlearning thousands and thousands of years of shame, guilt, fear, and punishment indoctrination. Remembrance happens in an instant, but the embodiment of such takes time, a lifetime, even longer sometimes. So, be gentle with yourself. Cancer energy reminds us to uplevel our own self-love and self-care first so we can better serve and love the world. To nourish our bodies and beings with energies that support us, not further deplete us.
To start making choices out of this growing self-love. To stand up in our power and sovereignty, but not out of fear or righteousness, but deeply rooted in the heart. To know on such a deep level that we are only responsible for ourselves. To know and trust the wisdom in others to guide them home. To not name love in the ways of fear, judgement, control, and manipulation. Because this is not love. Not for self and certainly not for other. Cancer energy can certainly be overly sensitive to others’ judgments, so we need to develop that Capricorn strength and resolve to stop overly attaching our sense of worth and belonging to others’ approval or disapproval of us. To stand in the strength of our own heart and soul and honor ourselves by choosing what’s best for us. And by doing so, we can better serve others and our world.
We are all moving through a deep, transformative process of elevating our own consciousness and belief systems around what is possible for ourselves and our world. Even in the crumbling, the bigger picture, bird’s eye view perspective of the higher self can remind us that yes, this is one brutal and intense chapter, but the bigger picture of how things are unfolding and will come together in this tapestry that is you is so damn beautiful.
We can only do this by keeping our hearts open to ourselves and staying soft with our own transformative processes. Something is absolutely showing up in our physical world with this Capricorn energy—a new foundation, a new ecosystem to breathe life back into our bodies and beings. We only have to have the courage to say yes and open up to this possibility, even if there is great fear trying to ensnare us again.
Our yes to the universe opens and sets off a ripple effect into the cosmos that we are indeed ready and willing to make the change. The universe loves a brave soul and will absolutely bolster and support this yes in any way it can. So, no, you are not alone in the darkness and certainly not in this next step and leap into the unknown. Because our power always, always, always travels with us. Even if we feel disconnected from it.
We are being asked to stand in this newer found sense of self and to open to the new life that is waiting for us to claim it. To reclaim and remember ourselves whole, sovereign, and free to make a different choice. To put us on a truer path to what we actually want in life. To what we actually want to cocreate for ourselves and the future of our world. Unconscious creation will no longer do. Consciousness asks more of us. To know our own power enough to see that we absolutely do create our reality.
July and August will be heating up even more with incoming energies of Uranus and Mars. But we are also being made ready for this next journey and entry point back into the self. We are remembering our own internal medicine. Our own capacity to heal. To forgive. To love. To remember. Our own power and sovereignty.
This is not the time to keep believing in our isolating existence because we are all going through this, just in different ways and waves. Allow this full moon to remind your heart how to love. How to be open to love. How to love others well. How to share that love with others. How to open our hearts again to life. How to come back to life after death. How to transform with grace, permission, and ease. How to surrender and anchor back into the heart of all that is. Right here. Always right here, awaiting our return.